Fear Lyst

[EdibleKnife]

-I am afraid that I will pass my sickle cell onto any future children.
-I am afraid that if I have children, I will die before I see them grow up.
-I am afraid that I am sterile.
-I am afraid of holding infants fearing that I would drop them and injure them forever.
-I am afraid that some hateful soul, with prejudices against people of color, will kill me believing I was attempting to rob or harm them in some way.
-I am afraid that I will land in hell. I am a Christian and believe that I believe in God but the doubt somewhere in the back of my mind will sentence me to a fiery eternity. I already feel disconnected with fellow believers, including my father, who believe so fervently that it makes me jealous that I can't feel that way about my religion.
-I am afraid that I will never find love. Someone to look at me as a whole: body, soul, and mind and love it all. That on the scale of perfections to flaws, my flaws will always out weigh my perfections.
-I am afraid that if I do find somebody, they will one day in our future not want me at all.
-I am afraid of talking to women. I believe that somehow, they look at me and only see an amalgam of all the sad and pathetic parts of the men that they would never date.
-I am afraid that if I ever refuse the career path I'm on in service of pursuing what I actually want to do, my family (immediate and extended) will disown me and see me as a black sheep.
-I am afraid that my debts from school will pile up and be impossible to pay up at any point during my life and that those debts will pass to whoever I leave behind if I die.
-I am afraid that one day I will lose my mind. I will see myself as if I'm doing something I would do on any normal day yet in reality I am actually performing a sadistic, violent act on another human being. Then I "wake up" restrained in either in a courtroom or hospital with people looking on at me with tears or disgust.
-I am afraid that I will someday run over a pedestrian not meaning to and, despite what I hope I'd do, I wouldn't have the courage to turn myself in.
-I am afraid of never finding a job that suits my skills and that I am respected in.
-I am afraid that even after all of this schooling, I will never be able to find a job, let alone a job I actually enjoy doing.
-I am afraid that I will lose any and all friends I have today, not to death, but to my own preference for introversion.
-I am afraid that I will never truly see what I want of the world outside of a T.V. or computer screen.
-I am afraid that I am not actually as brave as I like think I could be. That someone I love could be in grave danger, and I wouldn't be able to bring myself to sacrifice my life for theirs.
-I am afraid of how much I would welcome some horrid catastrophe, like a bomber or earthquake or zombie apocalypse just to shake up the blandness of my normal life.
-I am afraid of having my funeral attended by no one.
-People like to tell me I'm nice but I am afraid that I actually desire approval and praise more than I desire to actually help other.
-I am afraid of being tortured for information I don't have.