Unemployable, and paralyzed by job-related trauma and cptsd,

[RightInTwo]

Here’s something I know: I know what skill I currently have, that I am confident in, but I don’t know how or if there is any money in it.

I love making 3D models in Sketchup. I love it and have more confidence in it than in my React programming skills.

I have several drawings published in Sketchup’s 3d warehouse, and some of them have lots of “likes” which are rarely given, and many more downloads.

If I could just make 3D drawings and get paid for it, omg, I would be set for life.

I know this link won’t work but maybe you can copy/paste it if you want to see my work. 3dwarehouse.sketchup.com/by/andreacrego

[manuel_moe_g]

So much fun, RightInTwo. A whole artistic world I previously knew nothing about. Bravo!

[rivergirl]

Hi RIT,

I also enjoy your writing, and your 3D models are so cool.

You wrote "The truth is, I am missing a very important set of interpersonal skills that 99.9% of people take for granted." I think the percentage of people who feel the way you do is much higher than .1%. There are also larger factors that have led to a decline in social support and increased isolation even before the pandemic. Maybe this isn't helpful but I just didn't want you to think you're so alone in your feelings.

You also wrote "My isolated upbringing has destroyed all the potential that I had for success. I had good grades, artistic and musical skills, but no guidance or encouragement whatsoever. I had no identity, and still don’t." None of this is your fault. Maybe it doesn't help to say that because it doesn't change where you're at right now, but it's so unfair for your mean voice to tell you that these factors that were completely out of your control are a reflection on you.

rg

[RightInTwo]

Hi RIT,

I also enjoy your writing, and your 3D models are so cool.

You wrote "The truth is, I am missing a very important set of interpersonal skills that 99.9% of people take for granted." I think the percentage of people who feel the way you do is much higher than .1%. There are also larger factors that have led to a decline in social support and increased isolation even before the pandemic. Maybe this isn't helpful but I just didn't want you to think you're so alone in your feelings.

You also wrote "My isolated upbringing has destroyed all the potential that I had for success. I had good grades, artistic and musical skills, but no guidance or encouragement whatsoever. I had no identity, and still don’t." None of this is your fault. Maybe it doesn't help to say that because it doesn't change where you're at right now, but it's so unfair for your mean voice to tell you that these factors that were completely out of your control are a reflection on you.

rg

rg,

I just realized that I habitually reply with “Thank you” to nearly every response… the truth is, the feeling of gratitude runs deep. Being heard, listened to, and acknowledged, is such a rare thing, at least on the topics we all come here for. I guess saying “thank you” is a filler for words that are hard to find. <3

About the 99.9%. That’s not hyperbole. Think about the world we live in today: The US population in 1970 was 203,211,926. In 2020, it was 331,449,281. (source: US Census Bureau)

Wyoming, where I spent my childhood, had 332,416 residents in 1970, and in 2020, 576,851.

What is the most remote place you have ever been to? When my mom, stepfather, and I moved there, around 1972, you could stand outside and turn around 360 degrees, and see only one other house that was at least a mile away. The nearest town (pop ~50k) was 25 miles away; 1/3 of that was dirt road. Family was 1,400 miles away. Not only was there no internet, there was only one channel on TV, and a single shared telephone line. Shared meaning, you might pick up the phone and hear people talking, which meant that you needed to wait your turn to make a call.

How many people do you think exist today, that had anything close to that level of isolation for their entire childhood? It’s a small number that gets smaller with every passing day. Relics of the industrial past.

The reason I included population data is because it’s a snapshot in time. That area is still probably the least populated in the country, but it isn’t 360 degrees of nothing like it was when I lived there. Google earth shows that. Which means, with ubiquitous internet access, there really isn’t anybody that has experienced the level of isolation that I did.

I was thinking about all of this recently because I started wondering if maybe I could find a specific support group for people who were isolated in childhood like me, and the irony struck me, that there simply couldn’t be very many people with that in common because, hello, where would they come from? Pre-internet age, so, in my age group, they probably only use facebook (I don’t.) and then probably only use it to show off their grandchildren.

Besides, even if we concede that there could be others that were isolated, how many of them, additionally, had no friends or family? Parents that never talked to them or took them anywhere? No hobbies or activities with other kids?

I stand by my estimate of 99.9%. I think it’s realistic. It’s not just a feeling. It is partly responsible for the fact that I don’t know how to make friends or lasting social connections of any kind.

I have no kids, no siblings. My mom is getting very old. I am very much alone, but with a partner - it’s a lot for him… lol…

I hope you understand, I am not telling you this to argue, or to negate the good intentions of what you are saying. It’s intended as dialogue.

Like I said, it means a lot to me that you and others here are being so kind and supportive.

[rivergirl]

Oh, RightInTwo!

I don't have much time before I have to leave home this morning, but just wanted to acknowledge your post.

Your childhood sounds incredibly isolated. I haven't had that same experience, but I have just an inkling of what it might be like from having lived on an isolated rural property in Oregon with my parents in my teens, pre-Internet days. It must have been devastating to grow up in your situation with no siblings and without having even the attention and support of one of your parents.

When I wrote about more people feeling the way that you do, I didn't mean the specific type of isolation that you experienced, and I'm sorry if what I wrote sounded insensitive. I was referring to people who lack interpersonal skills and the ability to make lasting friendships or other types of relationships, who feel socially awkward and alone much of the time.

Thank you for sharing more of your story, and for being understanding about my post. I often feel like my awkward attempts to be comforting or helpful here are like I'm bumbling around trying to put a small bandaid on someone's gaping wounds.

rivergirl