Homelessness

[Beany Boo]

Thanks RG,

You hit the nail on the head. Not forcing a solution will do as you say I suspect. I’m surrendering to that uncertainty in any event.

The only way through the uncertainty of my recent upheaval was to tell myself, ‘all I have to do is participate.’

[Beany Boo]

So I’m moved in...

This will sound cr**y,

I’m kinda distraught that the whole exercise wasn’t a disaster.

...

***Wasn’t***

!!!

The subconscious makes no sense.

I’m exhausted

[rivergirl]

Congratulations on moving into your new home, Beany.

The subconscious is definitely a mystery.

Wishing you peaceful rest.

rg

[Beany Boo]

Thanks RG,

My new place is objectively an improvement on my old place. That will mean something eventually.

At the moment, the removalist said I packed better than anyone; as in made it easy for him. So my life’s purpose to this point, is complete.

[snoringdog]

"Removalist" - love it! Is that Aussie lingo?

[Beany Boo]

It might be. It’s kinda old fashioned. It refers to one who finesses the extraction of domestic objects for a living.

[manuel_moe_g]

At the moment, the removalist said I packed better than anyone; as in made it easy for him. So my life’s purpose to this point, is complete.

I felt this...

[Beany Boo]

Thanks for validating that MM. I definitely felt it too.

[Beany Boo]

So it’s been a week.

The uncertainty has settled, enough.

I made a change I didn’t want, successfully.

I suspect life just gets stupider as you get older, or as the internet furthermore unfolds, but that that’s not something to rail against.

I may have learnt something valuable. I feel it there but I don’t know what it is in a sentence yet.

[Beany Boo]

So I had a Covid test today.

So I have to stay home while I wait for the result.

As usual my brain has the opposite reaction. I’m really enjoying the isolation. It sets up an exquisite boundary; one I can’t sustain in normal life.

I lay in bed trembling in the darkness, this morning, to schloff off the abject terror of lining up for my test. Trembling seemed to release me, regular as clockwork.

I’m definitely letting go of perfectionist habits. As the world grows evermore imperfect (understatement) the easier it becomes to respect that I want a something unmistakable for myself. Not sure what the full meaning of that sentence is.

There was a woman in the queue today. She was clearly, quietly and with all the dignity she could muster, losing her shit. I wanted to comfort her. I figured the best I could do was just be a witness to her and know for myself that I recognized what she was going through.