Facing homelessness.

[oak]

Through a mixture of bad choices (years of underearning) and bad luck (turned down for jobs applied for), I am facing homelessness one week from tomorrow.

I keep reminding myself that as long as I have at least one option I can face the next five minutes, the next sixty seconds.

And I do have a number of options, the worst being sleeping in my car, which is a very real possibility.

I also have a fine education and experience to where, with a little luck, I could be employed in a live in position (ie housing and food provided).

So now it is a question of hope and action on one side of the scale, and despair and worse on the other side.

I am precarious. My future hangs in the balance.

Being at the mercy of the American job market is a terrifying place to be.

I feel one-third hope, one third hopeless despair, and a third emotional exhaustion.

Thank you for listening.

[MizLzie]

I can relate. Went something similar without the car to turn to, you're lucky! (I joke in awkward situations)

Seriously though, sorry to hear that. I sincerely hope things work out.

[oak]

MizLzie,
Hello and thank you for your kind words. They mean alot.
Things have improved much in the short term. Partly because I got honest and started to take action.

I may well get back into a support group for people who struggle with underearning.

I may even get back into my half-forgotten passion of geeky board games, like Axis and Allies and Settlers of Catan.

I send you an internet high five in appreciation.

[MizLzie]

PLEASE get back into your geeky pursuits. Part of what carried me through a few years of absolute crap was getting in touch with my nerdy'geeky side (was always there, just not so open about it) and jumping head first into those things. It kept me sane. I can imagine it would help others!

Also, happy to hear things are looking up. Sounds cliche, but sometimes we have to trust that things will work out.

[oak]

True ML!

Part of my underearning was a lack of reaching out to people, and putting off my own happiness. And also asking for what I want.

Geek culture has helped me with all of those: I find like minded people*, interact with them, enjoy myself, and ask for what I want (suggesting this or that game, but going with the group consensus).

From now on I can observe games I'd like, or cons to attend, and make plans to make enough money to enjoy such things.

*I had always heard people say: "At that moment I found the puzzle piece I was always missing, but didn't know existed until that moment".

I understood that sentiment in a flash when I saw a Pacific Theater expansion pack for Axis and Allies.

There are other people like *me*!

(Just another way of saying the theme of this forum: I am not alone)

Much Mental Illness Happy Hour love.

[MizLzie]

I have the hugest smile on my face right now, such awesome things to hear. I can relate to SO much of what you're saying. I got myself a Doctor Who tattoo for my 30th. So many things stemming from that show have brought me happiness and a better understanding of who I am. And it's pretty.
With the underearning I think I understand. I have gone through that and even now I guess I could be making more. I make a lot compared to some, but I live in a REALLY expensive city and kinda have to, to get by. Especially since I'm not good at living with others so I have to shoulder the whole thing.

I get ya buddy!

[oak]

Update!

Through a combination of kindness (the people I am staying with) and old fashioned aggressive job searching (me pounding the pavement)...

I am no longer facing homelessness.

For the time being, ie the next three weeks, which is a big huge improvement from where I was a week ago. Thanks for the replies: they gave me hope.

Spreading the love and good karma:

Through persistence, on Wednesday I got a temporary job, which is tomorrow. It will be $150 or so for 12 hours.

On Thursday I bumped into a friend of mine from high school. He is also out of work, so I emailed him the job lead, the phone number, and the person to ask for, since the employer was desperate.

I am not sure if my friends was able to pursue it, but I was proud of myself for trying to spread the love.

btw to MizLzie:

My friend, I kindly challenge you to a pretend game of our combined geek passions: the Doctor Who board game.

While we obviously can't play this game in reality, I offer you the spiritual, virtual high five of such an offer. You are worthy of the class and smartness of that show.

Much respect.

[weary]

Just read your thread after your kind post on mine. I'm glad your imminent crisis has been averted. I agree with ML on the need to indluge and nurture your inner geek. I am in a love/hate relationship with mine because I often feel that it is a part of me that I can't display with certain people and in certain contexts because it will lead to me not being taken seriously, but I'm trying to get more accepting of myself as a whole and that's an important part of me and one of very few parts of me that give me satisfaction. I'm unfortunately not the same flavor of geek as the two of you (no role playing games or Doctor Who for me - more of an old school Star Wars/Star Trek/Superhero kind of guy), but I still heartily endorse your unfettered geekdom.

And by the way:

Part of my underearning was a lack of reaching out to people, and putting off my own happiness. And also asking for what I want.

This hasn't necessarily been a financial problem for me, but it is responsible for almost all of my other struggles. Some of us grew up that way and were trained to be that way and it is a difficult set of skills to learn. I felt like reaching out to people was being needy and not independent and that people would judge or reject or resent me, and that seeking my own happiness or asking for what I want was being selfish, so I became Mr. take-care-of-everything conflict avoider unflappable easygoing just roll with it take on additional burdens to ease other people's suffering until I realized I couldn't sustain that anymore - and then the bottom fell out of my life and I am still trying to rebuild it into something better, stronger. We have the technology. Oops, sorry. Got carried away.

[oak]

Pleasure to meet you, weary.

As far as your inner geek, let that flag fly!

The culture is really coming around to celebrating geek culture, because there are so many of us. We were the majority, but didn't know it until the intertubes brought us together.

I have many geek friends who love the Star Wars and Trek. You are not alone, my friend.

We have the technology.

That is just what I needed to hear:

The technology I use (along with actual technology like computers and smartphone) is the books that use the technology. I use books like "Parachute".

Great stuff. Much love weary and Mz!

I am out of the crisis, and improved (?) to just a bad situation. But I'm working on it. It means alot to see your guys posts.

Again, love.