Was excited for a new adventure.....now lost

[Sabriel]

If you've read my most recent post than you know that I am married to a SWIFT truck driver and we are supposed to be going on the road together here soon. So here is what is actually happening at this point. My parents came down to our place in AZ to help me move all of our apartment to their house in CO so they can store it for us and take care of our cat while I go on the truck with my husband. We did the drive in two seemingly reaaaallllly long days. Got to Albuquerque the first night and texted my husband to let him know we got there and he responded. Then came the second day. Got up to my parents home and texted him.... no response. Now, I am used to sometimes waiting a day or two before he can respond if he is exceptionally busy. So I wasn't too worried at first. I texted a few more times over the next few days with still no response and even called his phone a couple of times. Monday came and he took out a bunch of cash from his bank account (they get paid on Tuesdays and I usually handle the accounts for bills) and even more after his paycheck hit the account the next day. This had me freaked out a bit with still hearing nothing from him so I called and left a message as well as texting him asking what was going on. Tuesday night, I didn't get a direct response but he went and posted on his Facebook account for all to see:

"I hate how hearts can change even if you care about someone close. I have a lot on my mind right now.".

Understandably, I am now not only freaked out but angry and heartbroken by this thinly veiled statement. I have STILL had NO contact from him and don't know where to go from here. I do feel blessed that at least my parents are here and I'm not all alone in another state dealing with this on my own, but I never thought that he would be the type of person to do this. I wouldn't have married him back in September if I had ANY thought that I'd be dealing with something like this now. I don't want to tell most people because that will just invite questions that I have no answers for but I needed somewhere to unload other than my parents. Oh, and I forgot to mention that this last Wednesday was my birthday as well (yes, the next day after his horrible post). I also did leave him a message on Facebook as an effort to reach him before I went to bed on Wednesday:

"I don't know what to say right now. You've been avoiding me and now you put what you did on your page. It's not like you can't talk to me. I wanted to wait to write you because I wanted to try to enjoy my birthday as much as I can. I love you and I don't know what's going on but it feels really crappy on this end. I guess I'll try to contact you again later."

Don't know when I should follow this up with more contact attempts.

[oak]

Tough love time, as you've figured out by now...

If something quacks, and walks, like a duck... it is probably a duck.

In your situation, the duck is that your husband took out the money, and hasn't gotten back to you. Meanwhile, you are in a vulnerable position, in the stress of moving.

To be brutally honest, I am not sure why they would give someone a marriage license who "communicates" through vague fakebook posts. (Unless you guys are 14 years old, in which case that is age-appropriate.) Surely marriage includes returning phone calls.

So your situation sucks, and I am sorry you are in it.

Here is my advice:

1. Feel. Grieve what has happened. Really feel, and communicate with people who truly care about you.

2. Though this is the last thing you probably want to hear, now is the time to let your husband have his response and for you to make plans so you can move on to a happier future.

That is, if he left you within the first year of marriage, then even if he comes back, he is likely to do it again.

So, if he wants to leave, then let him go. I'd suggest you move on (read: strongly consider learning about divorce), and moving onto to someone, someday, who deserves you.

Since you guys have been on the road, I will end with this analogy.

What is likely down this road, with him? Is it a road filled with good things? Or more of the same?

[Sabriel]

Thank you for your thoughts Oak. I'm still in the same horrible position as of right now. I have tried several times to contact him by phone and by text as well as what I shared here that I put on Facebook. So, I'm hoping the dig was meant towards him. I figured since that was the only thing I'd seen from him even though it was just posted on his page and not in a message to me that it would be worth a shot to try contacting him there since everything else had failed. I hate to say it and I wish that I would never have to say that I don't think that even if he came back and begged for forgiveness that I would be able to or at least I'm not sure I could trust him again.