Emotionally not there...

[lostflames]

I have been in a relationship with a wonderful man for 8 months now.
He has some issues like mine (spouts of depression, some horrible anger when he gets pushed for a long time).

Now, throughout our relationship, I have been 100% honest with him. He's wonderful, he deserves it. I've been hurt a lot in the past, so it's hard for me to open up and trust people, but I was still honest regardless.
He, on the other hand, had an ex-love of his (who's a manipulative bitch who played and used him -- I could go on for hours about her) try and be friends with him again at the beginning of our relationship. He informed her that it would be "just friends, nothing more" and she agreed (I didn't know this till months later) + he said he really wanted to be friends again because it felt like she was just his friend again, nothing more (like before he started loving her).
Now, he didn't tell me any of their history because we had just started dating and he didn't want to ruin anything with me with irrelevant stuff about her when it wouldn't affect our relationship.
I found out months later that he used to be in love with her blah blah, they had sex twice in one day and that was it blah blah (mind you this -- I found out most of this while he was drinking).
We determined the whole "loving her" thing was a justifiable lie, because hell yeah I would've left if I knew all of that at the beginning of our relationship. + nothing happened between them and he was only friends with her.
They had a falling out later on because she started sleeping with his friends and blaming him cus he wasn't "available to be her Plan B" and it was "his fault she was a hoe now" (again, manipulative bitch).
Anyways, he also slept with another close friend of his (who's still his friend), and was flirty/going to date another. Also didn't find out till later on.

We fight semi-often because we're both hard-headed and stubborn. He once choked me at a party when drunk and we were fighting. I almost left him, but he swore he'd never do it again, and if he does, he knows I'll leave in a heartbeat. He also spent a month apologizing (and still does to this day). That happened back in April and he hasn't done it again.
He actually has a lot of family problems and used to witness his father abusing his mom when he was really young and vows to not turn into that, and I trust he wont.
I've left him twice (both of which didn't last more than 24 hours).

As you can see, we've been through quite a bit.

So, I've been hurt a lot in my past relationships. Anything from being lied to, cheated on, abused (physically and verbally), etc. You name it.
Whenever those things start happening, I become emotionally distant and unattached from them.

So here's the thing: when him and I fight, I just become so emotionally numb and treat him like a normal human. I don't treat him like someone I love; I treat him like dirt.
He knows about all my issues and has worked on his anger to help not fuel mine, but it's like I don't even care when I'm mad. He's just some person.

I guess this was kind of a rant and a question, but does anyone else ever feel like this? When they start fighting with someone they care about, they just become emotionally numb and careless?