twodividedbyzero Diary

[twodividedbyzero]

Last night was eventful Id gone to a gig drank beer lost two of my friends so went back to the hotel room. Im not in a great place mentally at the moment. Depressed and anxious.

In the hotel room I tied my belt in a knot to the metal door silencer after id put the leather strap into the buckle. i stood on a chair and put it round my neck and walked off the chair to see what it would feel like. My legs started to kick involuntarily it was a shock. I put my hands on the belt to take some strain off and got back onto the chair.

I felt really frightened knowing this could be it and I could be dead and there would be no turning back. my neck feels really sore today and its hard to swallow.

I just want to stay in bed forever. i know this will pass but I know it will come back again.

[manuel_moe_g]

Hello twodividedbyzero. Please take care. I know the feeling of suicidal ideation and wanting to sleep and sleep. It will pass and it will come again, and we are here for you, and we are cheering for you and for your greatest today and tomorrow.

___.oOo.______.oOo.______.oOo.______.oOo.______.oOo.______.oOo.______.oOo.___

Suicide and Suicide Prevention Resources

Suicide Prevention at 1-800-273-8255

another: 1-800-SUICIDE (1 800-784-2433)

another: type "Suicide Hotline" in you favorite Internet search

another: SuicideHotlines.com -- For Suicide Prevention & Emotional Crisis

These are your #1 resources, all other resources are conditional on you staying alive, and Suicide Prevention at 1-800-273-8255 is how you will stay alive.

"Coping with Suicidal Thoughts: A Resource for Patients" -- Suicide resource packet multipage PDF, a work-booklet using Dialectical behavior therapy (DBT)

Finally, here is a good summary of the precursors to suicide to help you understand yourself and others, it is from a PhD psychologist whose father committed suicide:

American Psychological Association - Thomas Joiner, PhD - Precursors to suicide, for yourself and others

[ifelldown]

twodividedbyzero --- definitely know that it will pass. and it may come back, yeah, but that doesn't mean it's there forever. definitely take a look at the suicide prevention stuff posted above. and have a hug (hug)

[twodividedbyzero]

Thanks guys. I appreciate it ;o)

Im back on meds, (prozac) and its taking the edge off and Im getting up early and having early nights. Im not there yet but on my way into recovery or remission. ;o)

[manuel_moe_g]

That is very good news, twodividedbyzero. Please take care, we here are all cheering for you.