Diary: Own place, new career, declare love.

[bigeekgirl]

<3

Keep your head up!

[oak]

@BGG: Sometimes following your lovely, kind, generous encouragement was all I could do this week. I am pleased to say that through the many disappointments I experienced, I kept my shoulders back and down, head up, and eyes forward.

@RG: I've lived on your compliment for a week! I've had to: ten minutes before reading it, I was turned down for a date by a true beauty. Your compliment/encouragement, along with BGG's, was all the hope I had this week.

Well, friends, I am getting butt kicked by life: I am exhausted, sad, and lonely. Being objective, II am alone, overweight, and poor. I have lots going for me, to be sure. But facing facts I am facing very difficult situations.

I did work on a coding project, and am trying to cobble together a portfolio. I am taking decent care of my teeth, which is as good as it gets, for now.

[oak]

Update!

It is time I retire this thread, with love and appreciation.

Final tally: one success, one work in progress, and one N/A. To wit:

Declaring Love:

I happened to see her a few weeks before I planned to declare my love to her. (Getting ready to declare this love was the framing device I used to motivate myself to go from unemployable circa 2012 to somewhat together so I could be ready to declare this love in July 2018. The framing device worked.)

We had a really nice talk, and it is was clear that declaring such a love was neither here nor there. She was happy with her significant other of several years, and her trajactory in life is different than mine. Further, remember how I got the number of the beautiful blond woman? That blond woman is her friend, and this blond woman checked all the boxes in my list (yes, men can create lists of what they want too!) that I hoped for. (This blond girl flaked on the taco date, but that's another story

Grade: N/A. All's well that ends well.

Move Into Own Place

This was going to be a difficult nightmare, and it was. But it was, I estimate, three times worse than it should have been because I am immorally underpaid. The good news is that I'll be much better prepared to move next time. A debacle to be sure, but a good one.

Grade: Success. Much harder than it should have been, but I love love love my apartment. It is like "Base" when we played tag as kids: a place to catch my breath, and come up with a plan. It is a mental space for me to be away from toxic people (read: my mother) and a literal space for me to make effect good habits: dental, home gym, keyboard, eating habit, reading. I absolutely love the apartment, and am very eager to get out of the apartment complex. These people of the apartment complex, many of them fairly decent people, will not have jobs when the coming job apocalypse comes, and goodness I don't want to be around for that. Man.

Changing Careers:

I am finally completing that coding project that I swore I'd complete on that awful May 1 when I moved into the distressed apartment complex.

I intend to send the project to my friend this week. I may hear from recruiters in the next week or two.

I also have my annual review with my boss soon, or I leave. Likewise, I make friends in the small (but not tiny) town I moved to in May, or I leave. Said playfully: Tech skills may suddenly make me more valuable to people who never showed much interest in me. And if they don't want to treat me nice, as decided by me, I'll go find some better people. Bye Felicia!

Grade: We'll see! I've been teaching myself to code since 2014, and in the next few weeks I get to see fruit.

[oak]

Happy little update.

Four months in, I really enjoy my apartment.

It was a real rough start, but now I have a system of cleaning down, along with sunshine and fresh air.

I especially like that it gives me space to make better choices, at best two steps forward one step back

I have only food of my own choosing; my freezer is full of individual servings of quinoa soup I made. Right now I’m cooking mushrooms in chicken broth. Very simple. I love it. And individual servings of rice/quinoa I can put on a bean burrito.

In the fridge I have all the pop I want, fruit, fresh salsa, chocolate, fresh peppers, soy milk, maple syrup, baked chicken thighs. Things I like.

It is just me in this two bedroom apartment, so I have space for my exercise bike and to walk around doing my tai chi.

I have a big chair to read library books so I can expand my horizons and avoid screens before bed (not always successful!). Examples: I am currently reading books about mushrooms (expanding my palate and self sufficiency), lifting weights, tai chi. I also like autobiographies about people who survived life When The Wheels Fell Off.

I have a little table for my keyboard so I can practice so I can someday soon impress you know who.

It is, so far, very quiet.

There are several important things I’d change about this experience: I am lonely and short of money. I am taking action, again AT BEST two steps forward one step back, to remedy or mitigate these sorrows.

But for today, now, I can say: I have happy moments more often than in my previous life. I want to express my gratitude here.

[rivergirl]

Thank you for the update, Oak! Well done!

[brownblob]

The journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step. March on Oak.