Hello to all the crazy people (aka: all of mankind)

[Tristus]

Tristus is a gamer name I like to use but oddly enough I don't give myself much time to veg out. As I was creating my profile I laughed when the error I got was from my diagnosis being too long. I took out Major Depression as I've only had one episode. I haven't yet been diagnosed with Paraphillia nos but it's pretty obvious.

I've spent years working on me. What I mean by that is I work hard trying to keep up with my peers. I'm taking a semester off from college but am going. I am a veteran, a wife, a parent to my beautiful fur babies. My two cats have literally saved my life. God, that's a good story. I'll have to share it later.

Last year I became really apathetic and recognized the need for therapy. Now I go to talk therapy and just began gestalt therapy. The VA has actually been really good to me. They've gone out of their way to help me find work and even now that I'm employed are helping me to find more meaningful work. I'm trying to find meaning in my life through other means. I'm trained to be a peer support group leader and am working on an Adult Autism support group. I was diagnosed with Aspergers a month before the DSM V changed it to ASD. The question now is how to entice all the neurodiverse out of their hidey holes for an hour a month. We tend to be a reclusive, methodical bunch. New things and meeting people in asocial setting really isn't our forte.

Another notable thing about me are my kids. I've had 2-4 miscarriages (long story) and one stillbirth of twins (another long story). Turns out I suck on a genetic level. I have what's called a Balanced Translocation. It was so hard to go through those losses that I chose to have my tubes tied. Chances are so small I'd ever have a viable pregnancy with the size of the translocation. I hate Mother's Day. Yet I've embraced the idea that I can dedicate more time to doing for others through volunteer work. But seriously, I've got so many issues going on down under that it would be cruel and unusual punishment to stick a baby in there. I'm too poor and afraid of fucking a kid up to adopt so I've embraced the non-mom life. I don't usually tell people so I try to be a positive influence for other young women at school who don't want kids. They shouldn't have to be pressured into that but women are anyway. Since I don't offer talk about my fucked-upted-ness I can show them an alternative lifestyle.

There's more but I'm exhausted from second shift. Nice to be here and it's nice to listen to the podcast while I work at night. I subscribed pretty quickly as this is so entertaining. I finally get cable and am now spending all my time listening to podcasts; typical. Thanks Paul for creating this safe place for a lot of people.

[fairygodmother]

Hi there. I am new here to and I saw your post. I am impressed about all the things you do and manage. I will suggest the Episode with Gillian Callahan Chachere, she has a great way of coping with miscarriage.