New Depressive Guy™

[J.J.]

Hello, fellow crazy people!

Howdy, I'm J.J., a forty-flurf year old guy from the New York area. I started listening to Paul's show a week or so ago—and now, I cannot stop. I've heard so many things that I have either thought or said previously, and it's good to know that you're never alone.

I've had major depressive disorder from my teens to the present day. Currently, it's in remission thanks to drugs (legal and otherwise), exercise (legal and otherwise), and therapy (ditto). I haven' had an episode for about two years now. And thank goodness for that. I've finally had energy—something that I haven't had in ages.

My libido, which was barely existent, returned making my previously ok sexless marriage no-longer okay. Wife was relatively okay with basically never doing it. This is my current problem that I'm working through with a wife who, unfortunately, is now going through a depression. I'm there for her, as one should. She's been there for me. But now, the whole not having sex thing has reactivated some of my previous issues with insecurities of the past.

I was bullied relentlessly in my early adolescence, which I think activated the "nature" part of depression. It kept me from exploring my sexuality with others because I was convinced no woman would ever want to be with me. I'm still dealing with this bullying bullshit into my 40s, what the fuck.

Anyhow, enough with that, this was supposed to be a hello. So, hello!

-jj

[Imissmysun]

Kids are little monsters - they have no tact button - they don't realize that you can't say every observation you have out loud - I am sorry that you grew up with this cloud of negative voices over your head - and really congratulations on the weight loss - that is awesome -

It is also normal for one partner to sway away from mental health as another gets better - I am sure that your wife is thinking - oh God now that he is better he won't want me anymore - he will know that I am a mess too... Because lets face it when we are in the middle of a depression we are very selfish (unknowingly) because our brains are all like - me me me - I am bad at this and I will never be blah blah blah - and we get sucked into an inner monologue... and cannot hear anything else - that is where your wife is - and try to remember that she is with you because she thinks you are awesome - the rejection may suck but its more her stuff than because she doesn't want you - her brain is telling her that you don't want her - see how insidious this stuff is?

Anyway- Welcome! Hi! Hello! and really thank you for sharing -