Hello, all.

[hardcorepolka]

I've been listening to the podcast for several months now, sometimes more than others. Some days it is an oasis, others it is too much because I want to be grumpy and feel alone in the universe.

I am a 34yo, white, mostly straight woman residing in the American south. I am single, no kids, relatively fulfilled at my job, and I only have to worry about the lights getting shut off a few times a year. I drink too much but not in the morning and I've managed to keep myself out of trouble, through a series of minor miracles (especially in regards to my 20s and earlier).

I was raised by a textbook Narcissist mother and a loving but passive (if you ignore the boiling over temper that comes from a 30 year relationship to a Narcissist) father who divorced almost a decade ago. We were borderline poor which has led to severe financial security compulsions and, thanks to dear old mom, crippling self-doubt and self-worth issues. As that is wont to do, it has made for a series of super awesome romantic relationships reaching back two decades.

I have done enough work (on my own because my Irish Catholic upbringing made damn sure I could never admit weakness to strangers or authority figures or medical professionals) where I do not tolerate obviously abusive relationships. I tend to stick with intensely codependent ones with addicts and/or Narcissists. I am mostly definitely a love addict though I have started to avoid serious romantic relationships in the last few years.

I suffer from clinical depression and am the textbook definition of OCPD. There I am, distilled into a few depressing paragraphs. I look forward to becoming part of something that will, hopefully, lead to my having the stones to actually walk through the doors to a group (I managed one al-Anon meeting several years ago after my last serious relationship exploded) or at least allow for some comfort from the anonymity of my phone on this forum.

Thanks for reading. Take care, all.

[Beany Boo]

Congratulations on taking this step. You're a good writer.

Welcome.

[brownblob]

Welcome to the forum hardcorepolka