I'd Prefer To Be Drinking

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nightcitysong
Posts: 37
Joined: September 4th, 2017, 11:02 am
Gender: female
Issues: Covert incest, codependency, addiction, depression, anxiety, CPTSD

I'd Prefer To Be Drinking

Post by nightcitysong »

Hi guys,

I'm new here. Found the podcast recently and I believe it saved me during a very dark time. Three years into therapy I realised the reason I have been depressed, anxious and suicidal my whole life is due to both my parents abusing me and acting like nothing ever happened.

I've been using alcohol and sex/love/work addiction to numb myself since I was 11. I am now 27, aware that this shit isn't working and fucking miserable. I feel utterly lost, alone and honestly, I at time cannot see a reason to live. I am devoted to getting better and being happy. I know I will survive this.

I am sick of living a lie and sick of hiding my true self from people. I want love and intimacy. I don't want to hide all my pain in my art and music anymore.

So, yeah, hi, from Ireland.

Katie
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oak
Posts: 3551
Joined: January 18th, 2013, 8:44 am
Gender: Male

Re: I'd Prefer To Be Drinking

Post by oak »

Thanks for sharing!

Welcome.
Work is love made visible. -Kahlil Gibran
A person with a "why" can endure any "how". -Viktor Frankl
Which is better: to be born good or to overcome your evil nature through great effort? -Skyrim
nightcitysong
Posts: 37
Joined: September 4th, 2017, 11:02 am
Gender: female
Issues: Covert incest, codependency, addiction, depression, anxiety, CPTSD

Re: I'd Prefer To Be Drinking

Post by nightcitysong »

Thank you!

Enjoying reading the posts here and knowing I'm not alone and others are making their way through this shit.

:cry:
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brownblob
Posts: 827
Joined: January 22nd, 2016, 4:51 pm
Gender: male
Issues: depression and anxiety
preferred pronoun: whatshisname

Re: I'd Prefer To Be Drinking

Post by brownblob »

Welcome to the forum,
Glad to hear you are committed to getting better and being happy. I know those feelings of being alone, numb and lost and not seeing a reason to live. We just have to try to keep moving forward.
I don't like people much and they don't much like me. -A Beautiful Mind
I'm Homesick for a home I never had.--Soul Asylum "Homesick"
nightcitysong
Posts: 37
Joined: September 4th, 2017, 11:02 am
Gender: female
Issues: Covert incest, codependency, addiction, depression, anxiety, CPTSD

Re: I'd Prefer To Be Drinking

Post by nightcitysong »

Thanks, BrownBlob. Its seriously hard going at the moment. I just went back to therapy after a month break, it felt good to catch her up on where I'm at.
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