I'd Prefer To Be Drinking

[nightcitysong]

Hi guys,

I'm new here. Found the podcast recently and I believe it saved me during a very dark time. Three years into therapy I realised the reason I have been depressed, anxious and suicidal my whole life is due to both my parents abusing me and acting like nothing ever happened.

I've been using alcohol and sex/love/work addiction to numb myself since I was 11. I am now 27, aware that this shit isn't working and fucking miserable. I feel utterly lost, alone and honestly, I at time cannot see a reason to live. I am devoted to getting better and being happy. I know I will survive this.

I am sick of living a lie and sick of hiding my true self from people. I want love and intimacy. I don't want to hide all my pain in my art and music anymore.

So, yeah, hi, from Ireland.

Katie

[oak]

Thanks for sharing!

Welcome.

[nightcitysong]

Thank you!

Enjoying reading the posts here and knowing I'm not alone and others are making their way through this shit.

[brownblob]

Welcome to the forum,
Glad to hear you are committed to getting better and being happy. I know those feelings of being alone, numb and lost and not seeing a reason to live. We just have to try to keep moving forward.

[nightcitysong]

Thanks, BrownBlob. Its seriously hard going at the moment. I just went back to therapy after a month break, it felt good to catch her up on where I'm at.