'High Functioning' depression

[neufena]

Thanks,

I don't really cope with it. When I'm doing better it's an annoyance, a block on getting help and I fight it. When I'm doing badly I'll use it as stick to beat myself with. A reason why I don't deserve help.

I also use distraction to avoid feelings. also as a way to try and give myself worth by doing 'things' to compensate for having not core worth.

[Mosesvampslayer]

Distraction is a devious thing indeed. I have been hearing Paul say on the podcast that it's not the device that's the problem, necessarily, rather the way it's being used. How true that is. I wonder if the high functioning appearance is due to the huge amount of negative self talk that helps get me out of bed. It appears like you're getting stuff done and you may very well be but you feel like less than a person the entire time. The insides don't match the outsides.
How have you been doing neufena?