Mind Body and Trauma

[Mental Fairy]

Thank you Oak
Ended up being a walk/jog/run/walk/stumble! Way too hot for this old gal!

Tomorrow I plan on taking you all up Paratutu rock.

[oak]

Tomorrow I plan on taking you all up Paratutu rock.

Please do!

And, although I can only hope this is true: is Dicky Barrett Island named after the lead singer of The Mighty Mighty Bosstones?

Either way, this song. "The Impression That I Get" is still awesome:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NIGMUAMevH0&ab_channel=MightyMightyBossVEVO

I can't believe this song is 25 years old.

[Mental Fairy]

Oh my lord Oak!!!!

It is named after a pakeha whaler whom settled here.

https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dicky_Barrett_(trader)

There is a boat that goes out to the islands and you can see his shack on the island where he would escape too.

Love the New Zealand history. Don’t get me started or I will type all day about our history.

[Mental Fairy]

Well today was not how I planned it to be.

Went to head up Paratutu Road and there was a line of people, turns out there is a cruise ship in today and leaving late tonight. Cross fingers weather ok tomorrow.

Been feeling ok, really not enjoying the heat. I am not a summer person and I’m at the grumpy phase of the summer where enough is enough.

It’s almost 4pm and I need to get some yoga in, big run tomorrow and got my new shoes today to break in.

I do wonder however, how come I went to the office today and has such a darn productive morning till 11am. Why does that feeling manifest every morning on waking. I know the science behind it but it does annoy me somewhat.

After I took Joes grandpa to eye appointment I felt very reflective on aging. Appreciate every day good or bad.

[Mental Fairy]

Isn't it amazing how one single person can affect another without even being in the same location.

One of my fathers (comrades/friend/acquaintance) contacted me last night to check in on me. The moment i got the message my hackles went up. A chill ran through me. He knows more about my own father than i ever will. Some very chilling information and some i would never be privy to. I felt a sense of unease and maybe a small percentage of comfort knowing they are there in the background. This person however has that extra layer of something that brings great levels of chills.

I responded a simple brief message back and left it at that. However the response back was open ended, left for me to engage. I didn't i removed the message and carried on trying to sleep. I know many would ask why not block? I am unable too, otherwise someone will present at work and maybe just pop up where i least expect it. I know they mean well on my dads wishes.

Now Matt has finished at his part time job, (as he has gone full time with engineering study and work) they knew almost immediately Matt wasn't at his old work. Every Sunday one would swing by his work on the afternoon or evening to see how he is while they carry out their shopping. Matt likes knowing they are there, however i do wonder what part of Matt is effected by this renegade grandfather.

Just this week i sent a message out to the local mortuary teams that i am looking at doing the two year study to qualify as mortician tech. As i am the only one in New Plymouth with my name one of the places replied immediately asking if i was Nevs daughter. I live in a rather small city and the past doesn't die fast here. I replied yes and have not had a reply since. The other two i am still waiting on. One of the places is where my dad was based outside of the hospital system to help out on private death preparation when he had no cases through the district. I know something happened there but i have never really been told, so i applied anyway to ask for some information.

I fear the legacy of my father will prevent me from moving forward from this. Alas, i will try anyway. I have changed my surname a few times but i have not changed my first. As it is so rare here in our region then the s*#! sticks from the past. I will never understand fully why he did many things.

I had a restless night of dreams post this message from the man. In a way it felt off. The dreams of my parents and the dreams of forever trying to run away was difficult. I woke with a fright and got up immediately. I put my nice new runners on and took off into the dark. You would think i would fear the dark but i don't. I fear the light. I fear the noise of the bikes that go past our rural area, my body gives a kind of seismic activity feeling when i see the boys ride past wearing their patches, gloves covering knuckles, leathers covering a lifetime of artwork that represents their life, their loves and their trophies. The teardrop that can never be wiped off, never dry and there seems to always be enough room on the body for one more.

The rain falls finally on our land, the grass brightens, the birds play. The cat refuses to go outside. I need this coming weekend to reflect a little i feel. Maybe read a bit, bake a bit and ride in the rain. The only differences between me and my father is my bike doesn't have an engine, my soul is pure and untainted, and i try to save lives. Yet he has installed in a fear in me i can never get to shift. Even from the opposite side of the vail he scares me.

[oak]

Mental Fairy, hello.

I read every word. Thank you for sharing!

[Mental Fairy]

https://youtu.be/sAai6vGY4B4

We sat as a family tonight as watched this as this man is an incredible NZ Comic.

Came out tonight

[oak]

Mental Fairy, thank you for sharing the video.

The videos you’ve shared have expanded my horizons as to the cultural vibrancy of NZ and Aus.

Regarding your second most recent post, I encourage you to consider not giving up on your mortuary dreams just yet.

May I share a method I learned about, regarding taking preliminary action, while in Debtors Anonymous?

[Mental Fairy]

Hi Oak,

Thank you. Yes please share away.

Not sure if you have the news over there about what’s happening here but we being hit hard with storm again. Auckland is in state of emergency and lives have been lost and many missing.

Our rivers are massive and I can’t even begin to tell you about the wind. We have all taken shelter downstairs as the wind upstairs is starting to get bit to much. As we are just at base of the hill it’s sending large amounts of water down the mountain.

Sadly Auckland is a mess. Airports closed.

Madness.

[snoringdog]

Hello Mental Fairy,

I happened to see some stories earlier today and thought they were from last week.
NZ has been getting pounded recently.

I hope you all are safe and no wind or water damage. Keep us posted please!

SD