hi

[Sortamaybe]

Hey everybody, been a listener and lurker for a long time now. I always put off signing up and writing on here because I try to imagine what I want to say about myself and end up feeling frustrated and blah because I am just not sure. I guess I'll try... Was in therapy off and on from early youth to teen years, put on prozac in the 90's. Didn't like it and spent a lot of time avoiding taking it because it made me feel disassociated from reality. (At the time I didn't realize that's what it was.) Fast forward to the last few years and when my son was born, I found myself becoming more reclusive and paranoid. I ignored it for about the first couple years, then realized that I was having lots of negative self talk and depressive feelings coupled with serious paranoia about strangers and people I knew. Anxiety was becoming more prevalent in the mix, and after listening to this podcast, I decided to find someone to talk to. My son was diagnosed with ASD and we are in the process of setting up systems and help for he and us as a family at present, and I am currently not in therapy but thinking about finding someone again as my last therapist moved and was transferred to someone a lot less...compatible, which really put a damper on my progress I feel. Ok now I feel like I'm rambling. Anyways. Feels good to finally post and I hope to continue to and don't annoy or offend anyone.

[Fargin]

Welcome Sortamaybe,

You're not rambling, annoying or offending anyone, that's just your negative self-talk.

My negative self-talk is often so strong, I better err on the side of caution and tell myself, I'm too much, too rambling, too anything too. I've found it's definitely worth questioning these automatic negative thoughts in therapy, because constantly second guessing yourself and erring on the side of negativity is a hard way to live life.

[Sortamaybe]

Thanks and yes, very true

[Geoff 02]

Hello, Sortamaybe!

I over-think posting messages on this board, too. I read your original post over twenty-four hours ago!

Sounds like your family's gonna have its collective hands full! Another great reason to stay healthy.

Good luck!

(Really? That's all I can think of to say?! Jeez! Why do I even bother?!)

[Sortamaybe]

Hey Geoff 02! Yea...Taking things a day at a time and surviving, that's all we can do!