Greetings and Salutations

[TCBwithBPD]

Hi all,

My name is Theresa and I am new to the board. I'm not exactly sure how I found out about Paul's podcast; I think it must've been from listening to Jimmy Pardo. Anyway, I started listening a couple of weeks ago as sort of a last resort and I feel very thankful and lucky that I did.

Quick history: I started having panic attacks when I was 19 and didn't actually go to a doctor about them for 11 years. Somehow during that time, I managed to graduate from college, work for awhile, and get accepted to and start law school. I feel like my life was pretty much one, big panic attack, but it never crossed my mind (I swear) to get medication for it. I finally did in the fall of 2009 and it's been one big nightmare since then. I've been diagnosed with generalized anxiety disorder, major depressive disorder, dysthymia, and most recently borderline personality disorder! I had a psychiatrist in Chicago who I liked "ok" that I saw for about five years, but I switched recently to one in Atlanta since we moved here for my husband's job. I also started seeing a therapist last September when I got into this deep depression that I could not get out of. I had tried lowering the doses of my crazy pills (CPs for short) because we were trying to get pregnant, which was obviously a big mistake. The dose-lowering, not the baby part. The therapist I love, the psychiatrist not so much. I feel like we don't see eye-to-eye on medication like in a global sense, but I didn't want to leave him because my therapist recommended him.

Where I am now: Feeling insane because of the quick pill changes and pretty much ready to dump the psychiatrist. I just feel overwhelmed trying to find a new one. All of this combined with the fun times that are therapy is kinda wearing me out. I heard a guest on the podcast talk about curling up under the coffee table for three days. That is sounding really good right about now.

I look forward to getting to know more people and hopefully getting help and hope from you guys.

Theresa

[verne]

Hi Theresa!

Sounds like we have very similar stuff going on. One of my problems is that, since I'm self-employed, I'm not even really able to get a solid diagnosis, because I can't afford psychotherapy. So I'm basically left to my own research and logic to suss out what is going on. Which...isn't the greatest approach, admittedly. But in any case, I wanted to say hi, and maybe ask about the BPD; I've just started learning about it, since my mother and I both fit many characteristics of it. Is therapy helping?
It also sounds like starting medications was a turning point for you that you feel poorly about. (Sorry if I'm misinterpreting.) I'm similarly cagey about going on medication, but often am curious about its effectiveness for others.

I hope you make many friends here! Nice to meet you,
Verne