Hello

[wild_flower]

Just thought I'd introduce myself. I am 39 and have struggled with depression for most of my life. I currently live with a narcissistic mother and the rest of my family seem to follow what she wants, which is to treat me like the family doormat and emotional punching bag. I am trying to get out but it is difficult so for now I feel trapped. I feel like my life has been wasted in a cage and I could have been so much more if only I had supportive people around me. I feel so jealous when I see loving families.

[Mental Fairy]

Hello and welcome.

Your introduction very much resonated with me, however my mum had long since passed away. Looking back now I wonder how on earth a mother can treat her children in such ways.

How have you been managing with your depression side of things, I would assume the anxiety side of things would be there also, especially around her and others?

Glad to have you stop by.

[brownblob]

Hi wild_flower
I've dealt with depression my whole life too. I know that feeling of wasting your life and wondering what could have been if only you had come from a supportive family. I have no answers. We can only try to muddle through the best we can.

[Mental Fairy]

Gosh that is so so true.

Thank you for that brown bob

[wild_flower]

Thanks for replying to my post. It is so nice to have some people to talk to who get it. People who come from caring families seem to not be able to comprehend what it is like at all and it makes you feel so isolated. I am grateful there are people here who understand.

[snoringdog]

Hello Wild_Flower,

Welcome!

I currently live with a narcissistic mother and the rest of my family seem to follow what she wants, which is to treat me like the family doormat and emotional punching bag.

That's really tough. I'm sorry.

Don't know what causes narcissism. Paul's had a number of guests who have spoken about it, or who've suffered under someone who has it.

One of the common themes seems to be just what you're describing - setting siblings against each other....

[wild_flower]

Yes, he has done a few episodes on it. They only care about themselves and turn everyone against you if you don't agree with everything they say. They are truly awful people.

[snoringdog]

Hmm...are they born that way, or "trained", or some combination of both?

Have you come across any useful insights or info on narcissists?
Does anything seem to work in your favor with her or your brother?

[Mental Fairy]

https://podcasts.apple.com/nz/podcast/mindset-change-healing-your-mind-and-body-podcast/id1400465711?i=1000628506632


Very interesting episode to listen to on narcissism. Take a listen.

[SunshineC]

Aloha wildflower, I can relate to your introduction. I found books about emotional neglect helped me to move forward in coming to terms with my toxic family upbringing. Dr Lindsey Gibson , who was a guest of Pauls, has written some very helpful books, I also found The Body Keeps the Score and Reinventing Your Life also has helped me digest a new understanding in my family dynamic and gave me a sense of validation and comfort I was seeking for decades. Best wishes to you in your healing journey