Hello, Everyone

[ZinnGandhi]

I'm glad this exists. I hope everyone here is on a path to improvement.

I went to my first support group meeting last night. It was a positive experience. Paul was one of the influences to try it out. It's an anxiety support group (I fucked up by writing to Paul that it's an OCD group- sorry, Paul). OCD takes the most time and energy away from me, but I've also had issues with depression and panic attacks. Fortunately, I haven't had a full blown panic attack in years. I finally gave medication a decent try in 2002, the year I turned 19. I took it for about 5 years. It may have helped dig me out of the hole I was in, but I wasn't comfortable staying on it. I stopped therapy about a year after that, and that was definitely a mistake. Some of the obsessions got worse, and they've interfered with my peace of mind pretty much everywhere I go (home, work, dates, etcetera). I'm troubled most by thoughts of harming people in various ways.

A friend helped get me into running on indoor tracks. I've found that exercise is helpful with keeping me positive. I'm also trying to eat better and drink more water. The reminders that I'm not alone have been a great help; whether they come from people like Paul and Bamford, people at support groups, or books, knowing I'm not the only one struggling with disturbing obsessions releases a lot of worry. If anyone needs reassurance that they're not fucked, feel free to contact me here.

Take care