I wish I had happy hypomania

[daniel_g]

I'm going through an up-swing right now. I know because I've been having anxiety (which I never have), I'm feeling agitated, blowing up at my wife and kid, spent a little too much money lately, and having trouble sleeping. The only "positive" has been some hyper-focus on my hobby, but my wife is feeling my distance. It started out with a burst of creativity with work and I was super productive at work, but it's turned negative, and besides home life, I'm finding myself resentful with work. I see how it's hurting my family and I don't want it to show at work. Now, the illogical side of me (I'm usually very logical) is hating myself for being like this. I really hate feeling like I have so little control over myself when I go through these swings.

In the past, little tweaks to my meds have straightened things out, but we've tried almost all of those tweaks and it isn't keeping up with my symptoms. My doctor is wanting me to add a new med, but I'm hesitant to throw another one into the mix that I haven't tried before. I suppose a long weekend would be a good time to try a new med out, but it scares me. I had a hard time finding the right combination before and I don't want to go through that again.

[manuel_moe_g]

I had a hard time finding the right combination before and I don't want to go through that again.

I understand this feeling well!

Wishing for strength for you in this time of need. Please take care, all the best.