Ptsd

[Baseball10]

To have someone give up on you because you can't deal with things is the hardest thing I have had to deal with. My therapist told me to find away to express my feelings. I am a very private and quite person. I didn't know if what I put into words would come out the way that I wanted them to. Thank you to everyone that posted a reply.

I don't know if I will ever be able to forgive her for what she has done to me. I struggle every single day with nightmares. It's hard to sleep. I can't get over the fact that she gave up and found someone else. The Image of her in the arms of another man is devastating. I breakdown on a daily bases. I guess it's better to do that instead of keeping it all in. I am on a emotional roller coster ride. With all the terrible things she did to me, I still miss her. I don't understand someone not understanding what I went seen and how it affected me. I use to be a very confident man. Now I have zero confidence. There is that saying what doesn't kill you makes you stronger. I don't know if I believe that anymore

[Jenny Jump]

Have you found a therapist or are you currently working with one? I'm wondering if there's a PTSD support group in your area. The sooner you surround yourself with other people and talk about things more, the sooner you will feel some relief. I feel for you, I really really do.

I'll continue to keep you in my thoughts and am sending you lots of love.

[Baseball10]

I will not recover from this

[weary]

I will not recover from this

That says it all. It must feel really painful and seem hopeless right now. I feel for you, and for what it's worth (not much perhaps), I believe that you will recover.

You're here. You're looking for support. You're seeking therapy. It's clear that you want to recover. The things that other people did (and do) are their responsibility and aren't your fault or mean you're a bad person.

You will find a new happiness, and a new "normal". It may be really scary and upsetting to think about, because it means you have to learn to let go of your loss and accept that feeling better doesn't mean going back to the way things were, but rather forging ahead. It may take time and be a painful journey, but you're worth the effort, and I think you will get there. These situations don't define your life of who you are. You still have the ability to do that. We all believe in you. Even if other people have given up on you, please try not to give up on yourself.

[MizLzie]

This thread brings tears to my eyes. One of my best friends is married (and now has a child with) to a volunteer firefighter. She recently told me about the panic she experiences when he's out on a call, and hearing him yelling on the radio that people were driving past him so fast on the highway at a scene that his helmet was being ripped off. How terrified she was that she might lose him.

The point I'm making is that I'm sure everyone would agree how much we owe to people like you. What you've seen and had to deal with is something that most of us will likely never experience. And you're still here! Even though it's very hard right now, you are still here. You are expressing yourself to complete strangers who welcome you and I know that I would like to give you a HUGE internet *HUG* for your courage and bravery.

So sorry to hear the pain you are in regarding your wife, but as was mentioned, it does say a lot about her. I believe things will get better for you, time may be what's needed here. And yes, it's very painful, so painful you may not want to deal with it anymore. We are all here for you though, right folks? Feel free to share whatever is on your mind. PM me if you'd like. You can "yell & scream", say whatever you want. We all need a SAFE place to share our thoughts. I think this is a good place for that.

You are in my thoughts.

[Jenny Jump]

I continue to keep you in my thoughts, Baseball. Wondering how you've been doing.