Good vs. Bad Therapists

[Mr. Horrible]

I bought a webcam and I’m going to finally seek some therapy via Skype since traditional therapy is really not an option (I’m homebound).

My question pertains to a general comment I’ve heard from multiple sources about therapists, pretty sure I’ve heard Paul mention it, and the most recent time I heard it was from an actual therapist on another podcast… basically that the reason therapy gets a “bad rap” from much of the general public is because there are so many shitty therapists out there. The irritating thing is when I’ve heard it, they never expound on it. So, being someone with no experience in therapy, how the hell am I supposed to suss out a bad therapist?

Not to mention the fact I’m already limited to those who offer sliding scale fees and will see me at a drastically reduced rate, and even then I can really only afford every other week, and only for a few months. I can’t afford long-term therapy unless they charge me next-to-nothing, which I don’t think I’d be willing to do anyway cuz it would make me feel even worse--I have to at least pay them enough that it’s in the ballpark of fair value of their time.

So back to my question. How am I supposed to know the difference between a good and bad therapist?

[manuel_moe_g]

You can get good results from a bad therapist, for a while, I have found. Only time will tell. I wish I had better advice for you.

All the best, take care, we here are all cheering for your greatest today and tomorrow!

[kitkat]

I don't know if there are necessarily "bad" therapists, just ones that don't work for certain people and ones that do. Everyone has different needs, so they need a different type of therapist and it's a matter of finding one that works for you.

From my limited experience, I've gone through three before the one I have now. The first was just a family doctor, which I couldn't talk to, since he'd known me since I was a child. The second was this extreme pro-active woman who wanted me to deal with my issues head-on and wanted me to bring my father in to a therapy session, which was an extreme no go for me. After a couple sessions of me telling her I didn't want to confront my father that way, she bluntly told me, "Well, I don't know what you want me to do for you, then." I'm sure that's what some people are looking for, but I was not. The third one was very nice, but I was also at an age where it was difficult for me to really open up. I had a lot of problems in my head, but I couldn't express them, and I thought a therapist was a mind reader that could call me on it and open me up and see I was hurting and save me. So, I didn't open up to her and after a few sessions she told me, "I think you're fine and we don't have to see each other anymore," which broke my heart because I wanted her to see that I wasn't all right.

Now, I have a great psychiatrist, for me, who doesn't push me and let's me talk and is full of insight. I try to open up more, which helps, and is the best advice I can give, since they can't help you if you don't show yourself to them.

But the point I am taking way too long to make, is that you can really only feel them out for yourself and decide if you're getting what you need from them. One person's garbage is another person's life saver. I hope that makes sense!

[AlmostWell]

I am in the field. One of my jobs had me interviewing and meeting therapists to serve as referral sources. I can tell you, unequivocally, there are bad therapists. Many of us are attracted to the profession because of our own demons. It used to be that therapists were required to have therapy, but no more. As a result, there are some (probably the minority) who never worked out those demons and project them onto their clients.

That being said, it really is a question of matching with a therapist. A really good therapist should be flexible enough to match their style to the needs of the client, but that can be difficult sometimes. I recommend trying 3 sessions. If you feel yourself trusting the therapist and feel you can be vulnerable, then it's a good fit. But remember, a good therapist will also challenge you and push your buttons a bit. Good luck!!!