When your body isn't your own.

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Cheldoll
Posts: 263
Joined: September 12th, 2011, 2:29 pm
Issues: Depression, anxiety, anorexia, sexually abused
preferred pronoun: She
Location: Portland, Oregon
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Re: When your body isn't your own.

Post by Cheldoll »

Absolutely. Especially in public bathrooms or when the light is really different from what I'm used to.

When I was a kid and I realized that your voice doesn't sound the same on a recording as it does in real life, I prayed it was the same with your reflection. Yeah, literally prayed, thanks to my Catholic upbringing. Sometimes I'd get a double-whammy and pray during fasting periods.

Pictures aren't much better, but at least there's usually a time difference and I can convince myself that I don't look like that anymore.
xoxo,
Chel

" Many people need desperately to receive this message: I feel and think much as you do,
care about many of the things you care about, although most people don't care about them.
You are not alone. " — Kurt Vonnegut Jr.
Talia
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Joined: May 28th, 2013, 1:15 pm

Re: When your body isn't your own.

Post by Talia »

I also wonder why it's ok in people's minds to comment on someone being too thin. I have had complete strangers ask me why I'm so thin. Would any of them ask a heavier person why they are so fat?

I think that it is a common myth that people with eating disorders all want to be skinny. We're all just afraid of weight gain, because what if it doesn't stop?
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Churble
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Joined: April 16th, 2013, 5:41 am
Location: Louisville, KY

Re: When your body isn't your own.

Post by Churble »

The answer to that is yes, they would. I've had people suggest gyms to me (I go to the gym 4-5 days a week, good to know it shows) they suggest what I should be eating instead of what I am currently eating, letting me know that my sleeves are too short so it makes my arms look bigger. It's said in a similar way as it's said for thin people, with mild concern and a complete disregard for how their helpful suggestions and concerns will make you feel.
If there is one thing the history of evolution has taught us it's that life will not be contained. Life breaks free, it expands to new territories and crashes through barriers, painfully, maybe even dangerously, but, well, there it is. Life finds a way.
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ThJulie
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Re: When your body isn't your own.

Post by ThJulie »

There were definitely times in the high tides of my eating disorder when I was so dysmorphic that I would look a the mirror in terror and not recognize my face. I felt like I was looking at a moving picture of this alien. Everything was so intensely contrasted and foreign and frightening.

This was in part due to starvation weariness but mostly because there was such a severe disconnect in reality from what I THOUGHT I looked and felt like and what I truly did.

Aligning them takes time and a lot of reality testing and pushing yourself to FEEL yourself in your body and mind.
A man should not strive to eliminate his complexes but to get into accord with them: they are legitimately what directs his conduct in the world. -S. Freud

Never apologize for showing feeling. When you do so, you apologize for the truth. -B. Disraeli
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