should be a no brained but I need help

[Cherry_Iceee]

I've been with a man for ten years. In the beginning he treated me well showed me respect and I think loved me he'd play mind gam with me has finally convinced me that my friends were just using me. Before that he'd just get super jealous and snotty that I was out with them and nt him. it got to the point I either didn't tell him abbout hanging out with them and finally I just gave them up. The past two years he's gotten insane. He has hit me called me names. And now its to the point that I gotta answer him right away or he gets angry. And I better use the right tone of voice or he's angry. And if he requestt something being done man you better do it or he's such an ass. Almost reminds me of a two year old that didn't get his needS met RIGHT NOW. I want to leave him but I don't know why its so hard. I know he's not good for me I know he's abusive I know I need to go. But I can't bring myself to do it. I know its not alll fear that stops me but I'm not sure what it is that does. If I think about all the mean things that he's done and just. How out oof contttrol he is I know I gotta get out but then something makes me second guess it. I don't know what it is or how to stop it. He's isolated me to the point I hae no friends I fear running into anyone I have worked wiithh. Or had has frriends cause when I get excited about it he gets all pissed with me. I dot know what to do even though I do I can't bring myself to do ittt I. Need help.

[fifthsonata]

Cherry, what you need is someone who is experienced in abusive relationships.

Start with a battered women's shelter. The term seems so....strong....but it's the accurate description.

Here are two links to start with:

http://www.newhouseshelter.org/resources/

http://www.helpguide.org/mental/domesti ... ention.htm

Look for ANY shelters in your area. Call the hotlines when he's not home. Get their advice.

Don't do this alone. Get someone to help you. If you're too scared to call, do you have a close friend you can call when he's not around? Can you say you want to go out for a long walk at the park because you're feeling stressed? Make up SOMETHING that doesn't seem like you're paying attention to someone else. Like you're going out by yourself. Go someplace where you can make a phone call - maybe say you're going to get ice cream so you can go inside and not be visible by the public (go in the bathroom, maybe). Of course, don't forget the ice cream so you don't seem suspicious.

[ghughes1980]

The above suggestions are a great place to start. Please be well and update us.

[Cherry_Iceee]

First let me appologize for all the typos.. damn phone will fix them when i dont want them toothen wont when it should. I appologize for whatever the nook will do now. Just a quick update or as brief as i can get it. It all came to a head late last night. He called me a bitch for the last time. So now im back "home" . Im not sure what that is. I never really called his house home and im not sure if this is home or not. I know in the long run im way better off. I wasnt prepared for it to feel like my whole life and identity feels like its been stripped away. Theres certian things i will miss and alot i wont. What i will misd hurts me worse than i could imagine. This is pathetic to say but he was my first real relationship. The past three years for the most part hes been the only other person i have talked to. I am afraid he may come back and kill me. I dont think he will but i worry and if not me then my nephew or mother. I worry most about him doing something to my nephew. I fear what his son is going through. Hes abusive to him and treats him badly his son has stated he loves me more than his dad. If anything that makes it worse. Makes me feel all the more guilty that i couldnt stick it out longer. What makes it worse is he wouldnt let me say goodbye to him. God only knows what sort of shit scott is feeding him. Hes blamed his past relstionships failure on him. And i wanted to reassure him that that wasnt the case. I also wanted to tell him id had taken him with me if i could. I just ache. Thanks for the input and support god knows i need it.

[fifthsonata]

Are you seeing a counselor? Have you called any numbers from the shelters those sites listed?

And - you don't have to sit back and watch his son get hurt. Call Child Protective Services if you're in the United States (sorry, I don't know relevant info for anywhere else). Explain the situation.

Call the shelter ASAP - get their advice regarding potential attack risks in the future. He just keeps getting worse and you CAN do something about it. Don't wait until it's too late. You have a good start. You can finish it.