Alienating myself....

[gfyourself]

Sorry that you are feeling low. I've been dropped before by people. In hindsight I was pretty negative so I can see why they wanted to not be around me much longer... not like I was enjoying myself that much either!

[Meh_in_NO]

I compleatly understand what your saying there... I still to this day dont like being with myself. I guess we are all kind stuck that way. I try to distract myself with wood working but just like this morning where I felt that paying attention to the saw blade I did SOMETHING wrong and nearly destroyed my saw which in turn only made me more down. Its like the one thing I can do by myself to get over the bad feelings only makes me feel worse. The only option becomes just to sit in one place. Dwell on the problems. But at least im not destroying the things I own.

[gfyourself]

I'm sort of at a place like that now... just pretty much disinterested in everything... go to work, come home, eat, go to bed... just doing the basics.
Even though there is nothing stopping me from getting more involved or improving myself etc.
Sometimes its like I should be able to just snap out of it... its not that easy... but I'm not sure that it has to be as hard as I'm making it to be on myself.
Ugh.

How is your wife doing?

[UnashamedAndAshamed]

Totally can relate. I've felt that way for years. Always abandoned by people I thought would care or call even once in a while. Worse: after weeks of abandonment, I would call their phones and yell FUCK YOU at the answering machines. BTW, please don't do that. It was a very low point in my life.

Those days are over. I've lost the ability to care anymore, but there was one thing I couldn't give up: music. I needed to be in an orchestra or band. I never got particularly close to any of the other musicians, but being around people really did fill part of a hole in my heart. A tiny part of a gigantic hole in my heart. A tiny, microscopic part... okay, I'll stop.

Therapy may help, but if my experience can help you, please don't quit your clubs and groups.

[Cinnamon]

Hey, just wondering - you say you feel abandoned by others but your post title is "alienating myself"....
sounds like there is some complexity to explore there

and truthfully, when you say you don't care about anything, and just go to work/home/are isolated
you sound really depressed to me and withdrawing into oneself is so easy to do when depressed but its a cycle inward then.

do try to be around others, as in your music, somehow.
I hope some connection comes to you soon - and in the meantime we are here

[CoQ10]

Hi
I was just wondering what your definition of friend is, for you, personally.
The people you spoke of or most of them are they real friends?
they almost sound like acquaintances, and clueless, are they worth it?(other than Jen and Mike very sorry about your loss )
Not that I'm any expert I only have one true friend and she lives
out of town other than that I dont Have friends, no one gets in touch & it
Hurts. It's hard to keep people around, I just made .a new friend things were fine,
then she found a new a boyfriend and moved
and no longer spoke to me, I don't know why.
She could still have a life and a new relationship.
Point of the story is I still have hope , though it will be hard I will have to try again to make friends. I think I need to get myself together first, in the meantime acquaintances are good
different people to do different things with. Only confessing in certain people certain things if I can manage to find those folks around here. Facebook is not worth it but you can always join special interest groups and block a whole bunch of people. Your wife needs you too so I'm sure that will take up alot of time and energy good luck