Hi, I'm new to this opening up stuff

[Vanessa]

I've been listening for about a year now and feel so incredibly thankful I found this podcast. This show has opened up my eyes to the fact that I'm not alone. The despair, rage, and anxiety I sometimes feel is very much shared by a nonjudgmental community and that alone has made such an impact on me. So thanks to all of you.

In a nutshell, I have not sought out professional help for the demons from my past because I thought I had overcome it on my own. I'm learning that I am soooooooo not passed it. I have gone back to school to finish my BS in psychology and child learning & development. I'm almost finished and plan on going to grad school to get my LPC so that I can practice counseling and help others work through their issues. I will be starting therapy for myself soon too.

Part of the reason I have not gone to see a psychotherapist or gone to therapy is because Im scared of being labeled. Im terrified of being told, "You have depression," or some kind of personality disorder. The idea of sharing my past with someone gives me so much anxiety that I think my heart my thump right out of my chest and onto the floor if I don't choke on it first. However, I know if I do not learn how to confront my own past head on, I will be a terrible therapist myself. The perfectionist in me just can't let that happen.

I get on this site frequently and read surveys and the forums. It brings me comfort. Perhaps, tomorrow I will fill out a survey myself. Look out....I'm making big strides over here.

[algernon]

Hello Vanessa,

Welcome aboard!!

With your career to come in psychology, you've got a wealth of useful material to find in Mentalpod and the podcasts.

Your own issues as stated are familiar to many many in here and it's not so bad to lay it open once you do. It's that first step that's a doozy.

I'm grateful to the forum for introducing me to John Kabat Zinn and his mindfulness training, bringing that into clinical practice. I've been finding comfort and strength in his teachings and others of that line. I hope you can relate to it for yourself and in your work to come.

It's nice to NOT be alone.

Be good to yourself and stay busy with choice pathways!

[Vanessa]

Thanks for the encouragement!

[Chris]

Hi Vanessa! I can relate. I used to have secrets that I thought I'd take to my grave. The idea of sharing my fears, shame, and self hatred with anyone was terrifying! In truth, it was not as hard as I thought. Looking back, it all seems silly now. What the hell was I so worried about? Find a good therapist that you can trust and spill it. You'll be glad you did. The more you carry that shit around with you, the heavier the load gets. Cut yourself a break and unload the weight of it.

[Antiqua]

Vanessa - How are you doing? You must be really busy. Come back and tell us you are ok!