As for myself, I did a lot of things when I was a kid that make me cringe now. I so realize that I was going thru a lot, though, and refused therapy and the like, while also convinced that I was losing my mind, soooo. On one hand, I am ashamed of my child self, who was mean to her sister and quick to get angry and all these things. But on another hand, if I look at it from a distance, I feel a sort of motherly compassion for my little self who didn't know how to handle the things around her or in her head.
Some good advice I think I heard on the podcast once was to look at yourself like a parent or someone else. Would you judge another child who did these things or would you think of them as a child who needs compassion?
That helps me sometimes. I hope you can forgive yourself.