A Man On An Island

[Idiopathic Dave]

I've always had peculiar thoughts. Put so much thought into human behavior and the world around me. Not necessarily to understand, but to entertain this insatiable curiosity of how we as humans interact and what makes us tick. For years as a child I felt isolated from people, both adults and those my own age. Analogy after analogy, philosophical idea after philosophical idea. They just bombard me and cease my focus on my own world around me. Granted because of my own piss poor childhood and self-destructive natures that have developed I've become more numb to my own survival. I feel I lack that internal will to survive and to better myself so as to be happy and function as a "normal" human being. I'm not normal though.

Over the years I've become increasingly more empathetic and sensitive to others thoughts and feelings. I'm a person who wants nothing but to comfort those who are doubtful of themselves and their worth, all the while working to put things into perspective for them so they don't feel alone and isolated. I want to share warmth and compassion as much as possible. I've succeeded over the years at times to bring people to a happier state of mind, if only for a moment. I'm not saying any of this to brag. I feel as though I have a lack of ego. Though certainly not incapable, since we we all are capable of such a thing. I just felt compelled to get these thoughts out.

An analogy I've thought of recently for myself is that I've always been stranded on a small desert isle with a small boat. Looking out at the ocean admiring what sights, sounds, and emotions felt. Every now and again I would signal to passing boats, because of the internal need to connect with another, but have oft been taken over and taken advantage of. I realize now, the depth and extent of my thoughts separate me from the rest of the world, but the understandings I have come through the studying of these thoughts and emotions have been both a comfort and a burden. The question I guess is what is my purpose? I've found a few over the years that I take pride in, but at the same time I feel there's so much more for me to do.

Though my life is limited, I'll never stop searching for more. Be well my friends.

[manuel_moe_g]

You are not alone, Idiopathic Dave. Please take care, keep the lines of communication open.