I go by JT. I've been listening to the show this past summer and am listening to all of them, starting from the beginning. I'm halfway through. I struggle with depression and a lot of negative thoughts related to my bringing up, mainly due to my emotionally abusive father. I've also recently come out as transgender within the past 2 years. While freeing for a time period, lately I've been having flashbacks from when I was a kid and they're not positive. So, this past summer, I've really been stuck in my head. It's been hard to get out the door to do things that have to be done. I've been on disability for the past 10 years and am struggling with the stigma of that as well as the stigma of having a mental illness. I'm active in the Trans and LGBTQ community here but that doesn't seem to fill my sense of worth anymore. I got married the same year that I came out as Trans. As much as I love her, it's been hard dealing with both Trans issues as well as being depressed. She also has clinical depression so we both have something to overcome. She's understanding but we do argue a lot. It's been hard because of the baggage we bring to the marriage. We're learning to adjust and not giving up on each other.
I've been suicidal in the past but am so glad that I'm alive today. I never thought I would make it to 40. I'm 47. I am very grateful for what I have and where I live and the marriage I'm in. I know that I'm more fortunate that some.
Hi.
