Money Anxiety

[SallieMaesBitch]

Does anyone else have major crippling anxiety over money?

I hate money and everything that has to do with it. The mere thought of it can put me in a bad mood or send me into a deep depression. I know it's connected to a few financial troubles I'm in, but it's almost like I'm allergic to it. Even when I know there's money in the bank, the mere act of withdrawing puts a knot in my stomach and often I make things way worse by not paying bills and the anxiety grows and grows. Taxes are a nightmare. Even payday, sometimes I don't pick up my check for a couple days or I pick it up but I don't cash it since I know going to the bank is going to upset me.

It's hell having a financial anxiety in a capitalist world. If anyone else shares this struggle, I'd love to learn more about how you get shit done.

[oak]

I am increasingly convinced we were separated at birth, SMB.

I have more money anxiety memories than I care to remember, much as I'd like to forget.

Most of my low-bottom underearning (an excellent way to get into debt) happened when I was traveling for work.

Shady hotels, not knowing if I could pay the tolls on the road and make it home. Oh man. I once went hungry for a week, faced homelessness, and didn't go to the dentist for ten years.

Two vignettes:

1. I remember breaking down emotionally, for reasons that I can't remember, on the New Jersey Turnpike.

2. I vividly remember going into big box retailers, buying a candy bar with my debit card, and hoping that my bank would let me get cash back up to -$500 (ie overdrawn).

If there is anything stupid or lazy about money, that would cause anxiety, I did, over and over. Fortunately, I don't have to live like that. I made it. Others weren't so lucky.

SMB, please correct me if I am wrong, it sounds like you have anxiety about the money itself? Banks? The capitalist system? Your actual paycheck?

I say this not to condescend but to truly try to understand.

Please advise. What's going on?

[Dragonfly]

Hi.
I have anxiety about money also. I am anxious about not having any....not having enough of it....becoming homeless and starving and being stuck at that level until I die.

Might I suggest some things that may help? If your anxiety comes from where oak suggests...the banks, the capitalist system, etc, maybe you can set up a reward for yourself for cashing you paycheck, taking a set amount out in cash and maybe writing checks for bills that cannot be paid in cash. If it is that you are anxious about having to deal with it to pay things, etc.. Maybe you could have your check direct deposited, and your regular bills scheduled to be paid automatically as a free service of your bank? I also suggest talking to a professional as well, if you aren't already, but some of those ideas have worked for me in the past.

Sending comforting hugs to you!

[Cami]

Yup! Huge anxiety about money here too!

Even though I am in solid financial place and I can afford my living costs + fun AND saving up, it still upsets my stomach to click onto my netbank.

I get shaky hands even thinking about the net bank..

[SallieMaesBitch]

I grew up poor. My parents worked their butts off so we'd be educated and have lights and food, but money was always tight. I think there's always been this fear of being in that situation. There wasn't really any anxiety about it though until I made a rather large financial miscalculation buying something just out of my reach. I was able to get out of that situation, but it scarred me and combined with the ever-present pressure of student loans which will take me a lifetime to pay back and credit card debt, I just don't want to even think about it. The topic of money is like an allergy and I just want nothing to do with it, even when money is available. It's a hard thing to avoid though in our world since, as they say, money makes the world go round.

[oak]

Thanks for sharing, SMB.

I am going to offer you some advice, and you aren't going to like it. Of course, weigh everything I say, you need not accept something as true just because someone says it.

You seem like a good guy, so I'd rather tell you an ugly truth (as I see it) than a beautiful life.

Dude, you gotta face this.

You gotta go all the way down that rabbit hole and come out the other side.

My advice: when you are ready, go talk to several people who were broke, and now are doing well.

I say this not to suggest that you are broke, I have no idea, but to get you around some people who have had anxiety about money, and now have more peace.

Here is my two cents, FWIW:

As a former broke person I am all about cash flow. As long as enough is coming in, the outflow can be regulated. Things can get better. With low or no cash inflow, even the best and smartest outflow will still lead to misery and danger.

My two cents!

You've got to face this.

[fuzzytop130]

I do suffers with money anxiety too and would eager to reduce this.

[SallieMaesBitch]

I'm rooting for you Cami and fuzzytop130, we can get through this. Thanks for letting me know I'm not the only person dealing with this struggle.

[Mental Musician]

Ohhh my gosh I'm struggling with this so much at the moment! So many bills to pay and just constant fear that if i don't have money left over in my bank account something terrible will happen which requires money I won't have. Currently in the position where I don't have back up money in my account and I feel like I'm in constant fear of the 'what ifs'

[SallieMaesBitch]

It's amazing how much money affects so much of our lives, isn't it? One thing I have had some degree of success with is mindfulness, working on finding ways to savor the things that I do have in an attempt to lessen the anxiety of all-pervasive money.