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Beany Boo
Posts: 2565
Joined: June 13th, 2016, 3:18 am
Gender: Not-quite-cis-male
Issues: Risk averse, conversation difficulty, relationship difficulty
preferred pronoun: He/him

Hi.

Post by Beany Boo »

If I get this out in 3 sentences I might trick myself into not deleting?

My Dad, as a small child was physically abused over and over with hospitalisation; had no treatment after, just used alcohol (terminal). Me, bullied, sex & alcohol fuelled upbringing in culture of violence & discrimination; diagnosed clinical depression in my early twenties. Now, in my 40's, moderately functioning, uncomfortably introverted, sexually avoidant and trying to mask intense social anxiety, whilst in long term therapy.

Hi. :)
Mr (blue) B. Boo

‘Out of nowhere the mind comes forth.’ - Zen koan

‘Let go or be dragged.’ - Zen proverb

‘Knowing how to yield is strength.’ - Laozi
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FuckYouDad
Posts: 10
Joined: June 22nd, 2016, 9:27 am
Gender: male
Issues: depression, anxiety, anger, emotional abuse, no sense of self
preferred pronoun: he

Re: Hi.

Post by FuckYouDad »

Fuck Beany Boo.. I'm sorry you've been subjected to all of those horrible things, and all as in innocent child. You undoubtedly deserved much better. Why does life have to be so fucked up!!!??? Sounds like you're doing the right things for yourself/moving in the right direction by reaching out on the forum and being in therapy. I've been in therapy for 5yrs and have a much better understanding of my situation now and continue to make progress (even though I still struggle from time to time). So what I'm trying to say is stick with it!! There is hope, you can heal.
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Beany Boo
Posts: 2565
Joined: June 13th, 2016, 3:18 am
Gender: Not-quite-cis-male
Issues: Risk averse, conversation difficulty, relationship difficulty
preferred pronoun: He/him

Re: Hi.

Post by Beany Boo »

Thank you FuckYouDad, that means a lot. :)
Mr (blue) B. Boo

‘Out of nowhere the mind comes forth.’ - Zen koan

‘Let go or be dragged.’ - Zen proverb

‘Knowing how to yield is strength.’ - Laozi
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Imissmysun
Posts: 282
Joined: June 29th, 2016, 5:44 am
Gender: Female
Issues: Anxiety, Depression, past trauma healing,
preferred pronoun: she
Location: Central New York

Re: Hi.

Post by Imissmysun »

Keep going Beeny

Be patient with yourself

Remember that when we are hurt deeply as children that we need to go back and reparent ourselves the way we should have been parented....

I suck at this - I am scared to talk to my little girl self I think she may hate me...That and I don't know what she might remember and I am scared of that - but I do want to heal so I need to try to talk to her...

You are stronger than you think we all are
Just another messed up chick, who hates her body and face, and voice, and thinks she is useless and her stuff isn't that bad and she should get over it.
-Sarah St. Lunatic
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