cold world

[brownblob]

I live in the midwest and work a blue collar job. I get frustrated sometimes listening to people talking about reaching out to others and talking about feelings. That doesn't happen in the world I live in. People don't give a crap about each other's feelings.
I just wonder if open minded people with feelings only live in California. Where I live people are homophobic, sexist, racist, and have 0 sympathy for someone struggling with mental issues. I just feel alone in this cold world. When Paul says at the end of each show that you are not alone. I think yeah but the others like me are a thousand miles away.

[Namu]

Hello, brownblob. I remember your welcoming words on my intro post, and I see how helpful and kind you are to others as well.

I too feel a bit left out whenever Paul says things about us not being alone (what, exactly, does that mean?, I always wonder, because it doesn't really seem true for me in any useful way), or how easy it is to get help and support if we just ask. I suppose my region is pretty homophobic and racist too -- sure of it, actually -- but, as you may remember, I "cope" by isolating, so the hatefulness doesn't take up as much room in my head as it otherwise would. And no wonder you isolate too! Sometimes hatch-battening is the best option. It can be breath-taking, when I forget the quality of the culture, and open up as though we're all on the same page, and then get reminded how much my worldview differs from my neighbors'. It's like stepping in poo.

Occasionally I put myself in a place where I might find kindred souls -- discussion/study series at the library, for instance, or a meetup with a promising topic/title. Most of the time I come away exhausted and disappointed, but once in a great while I stumble upon someone good for me. I've got a possibility in the works now, actually; further familiarity may breed contempt, but so far there's hope.

Some of my family live in the Midwest. I'm in Appalachia. It surprises me sometimes how, even where there is money and education (such as the Midwest, compared to here), people can still give in to racism and other lazy thinking. (Obviously there's a lot I don't understand about people.)

Blue-collar colleagues probably don't, on average, have a lot of diverse experience to draw on, even in areas where cultural resources abound. I've had friends really suffer from that sort of work environment, with conflict always brewing.

I hope you can find some better souls around you, to feed your heart and mind. In the meantime, you have my sympathy.

Namu

[oak]

It is indeed a cold world!

[rivergirl]

brownblob,
I'm really sorry you're stuck in an area and job where you feel like you're alone and don't fit in.

I'm on the west coast but feel the same way in terms of being able to discuss mental health issues. I don't feel like it would be okay at my job, and even in my family it's difficult. I feel really alone a lot of the time. I just joined a depression support group and it seems positive, but the people there don't seem to call each other or get together outside of the meeting. I understand why people say you're not alone as a way of giving hope, but in practical terms I think some of us do end up spending a lot of time alone and feeling alone.

I hope you at least feel some understanding from your partner, and that maybe you'll be able to find someone else to share your feelings with.

I'm sorry not to sound hopeful or positive. I guess I'm feeling particularly alone recently so this resonates with me.

rivergirl

[brownblob]

thanks for your replies oak, namu and rivergirl.
My partner has been understanding. My family was never understanding and still look down on me for my struggles with depression 25 years ago. I don't dare let them know that this is a lifelong thing for me. The only place I ever go is work and the people there still make comments about one of the supervisors who took FMLA for a breakdown over 10 years ago. There have been a few other people with issues over the years and there is never any sympathy only jokes about them.I would never let anyone there know about my past or present struggles. There have been plenty of recovering addicts work there over the years, and that seems to be acceptable, but depression or anxiety not so much. Just the whole close minded attitude gets to me at times. Not just about mental health, but also any social issue you want to choose:sexual assaults, black lives matter, immigration, god punishing the US for tolerating homosexuality, and don't even get them started about trans people. Anyway, listening to it all just gets to me at times.
The podcast is a tolerant, loving thing where everyone has struggles and everyone is accepted. I just wish the world could be a more loving place.

[hobojungle]

One of the benefits of attending a support group is being far more likely to speak out against bullying. Support groups are a tool to empower you to use your words in real time, even when you are outnumbered/vulnerable. You are not alone means (to me) that others are facing this too, whatever "this" is--it's not geographical. If we wait for others to fulfill us, we'll be waiting for a very long time.