Male beauty.

[oak]

In our deeply sick society, male beauty is either unattainable (Channing Tatum) for an ordinary man, or a joke. Think of the heartbreaking Snl skit of Chris Farley and Patrick Swayze.

Laughing in the face of danger, I am experimenting with finding what beauty is latent in me.

My first plan has been:

1. Eat right and exercise.

2. Fix my teeth.

3. Earn more money so I can afford better clothes and a gym membership.

I’ll post here more.

I’ve been effecting the above, and am starting to get noticed.

And let me say: women are so obvious when they stare

[bigeekgirl]

It's so hard for boys. The "body acceptance" movement is so female concentric. It's like all women are beautiful but men have to fit a narrow band of attractiveness. Nothing wrong with working on ourselves, but not everyone can look like the cover of Men's Health no matter what they do. Nor should that be the measure of worthiness.

I didn't even notice until I got involved with my husband who's struggled with his weight and food addiction/binge eating his whole life. He's currently 6'2 and about 440 pounds. He'd been down to the 330s at one point and has had success losing often but never maintaining for more than a few months. It's terrible on his ego and he has no concept of his own attractiveness, even unrelated to weight. Me? I like tall men, big hands with long fingers, strong legs, and a nice voice. Do I want my beloved healthier and able to do more physically? Absolutely. Does it matter to me otherwise? Nope. Visible abs aren't important for moving sofas or hauling groceries.

The great news is a friend and I have finally convinced him to get some therapy. First appointment with his EAP on Tuesday. I honestly think being able to work on the emotional and maybe even spiritual portion is going to help him a ton.

I'm so proud of you, oak, for making the changes you've made. Keep going!

[oak]

So it has come to this.

In our pursuit of male beauty (read: attracting women), my friend and I are starting a band.

My vision is something like Alabama Shakes, SRV, or our own Black Keys.

Speaking of our dear Kent State, my moral model is beauty icon Chrissy Hynde who teaches me to use what evolution has given me.

https://youtu.be/-7Hy7uAb_eU

And then go to get out into that real world to see if I can get some attention:)

[oak]

@BGG: Be assured that I found your kind reply fascinating and encouraging.

I’d make a proper reply right now, but I only have internet access through my phone (thanks working poverty!).

I hope your husband finds his way to a more comfortable future. EAP is exactly the right place to begin. That’s how I turned things around.

[brownblob]

You're special. So special.

That was actually the first video I ever saw on TV back in the day. I don't remember what show it was on, but it was cool to a 10 year old kid.

[bigeekgirl]

Chrissy Hynde is incredible. I could listen to her voice all day.

Thanks for the encouragement, oak. It's killer on my codependency to watch my loved ones struggle, but it works so much better to be a supporter rather than a fixer.

[oak]

Thanks BB and BGG!

Thanks to The Secret movie I have methods to leave the anger and bitterness behind. A work in progress.

I also continue the more conventional methods of beauty: I do okay cardio, and gentle floor exercises and tai chi several times a week. I try to get a little sunshine by getting outside ostensibly to play Pokémon go.

I saw myself in the mirror today while on the exercise bike and thought “Damn. That’s a man’s body.”

I definitely have a more v shaped torso, and sport coats suddenly look totally differently on me.

While I have no idea if they’re attractive, my role models are World Cup players and country star Jon Pardi. Mostly the way they carry themselves. If that makes sense.

Flirty update

Yesterday after work I stopped by the dollar store for some chocolate. I playfully challenged the employee to pick three of her personal favorites, and I’d choose one. After I chose the bag of snickers minis, she flirtily stated that our conversation was causing her “heart palpitations”.

I was too astonished to invite her out :0

[oak]

I continue, at best two steps forward one step back, with my mixed efforts and mixed results at male beauty.

I am not getting noticed, and my eating habit and exercise have been mixed. But certainly better than a year ago, that's for sure

Fascinated by archetypes of attractive men, I continue to make baby steps to bring out the latent "athletic" and "musical" aspects of myself that corporate America beat out of me. To wit:

With a little ambition, today I can play the chords of "I'm Yours". Not well, by any means, but much more than I could a month ago. With a little more ambition I can just as easily learn the chords to "Sweet Child O Mine". There's only four chords!

The only thing going unambiguously well are my shoulders. Dang, are those the shoulders of a man. Those are a man's shoulder's let me tell you. I love to glance at my V torso before I begin my day.

Oh, and I keep after my posture and dental habit.

My goal now is continue to study my keyboard tutorial, and to go to an open mic in a few weeks or months. This is a big big deal.

Thanks for listening!

[oak]

A woman invited me out (this had never happened to me before) when I told her I am lifting weights and teaching myself guitar.

I am definitely, 100%, getting noticed while going about my daily life.

I have a full set of exercises to do: weights, stability ball, toning ball, floor core exercises, stretches, tai chi, and cardio. These are all, at best, limited victories. My only unequivocal success is dental: I must admit that my teeth look much better.

I have another eight days until the date, so we’ll see if I can make the better male beauty choice, most of the time, day to day, until then.

[rivergirl]

I'm happy for you, Oak. I hope you're able to make the choices in the next eight days that make you feel good, but you don't have to be perfect to be attractive or lovable. (easier to tell you that than myself but many imperfect people seem to get together and have healthy relationships)

Best of luck on your date!


rivergirl