duck's diary

[duck1]

I feel very overwhelmed. no ware to escape.

husband helps SO much but I'm so tired. and I constantly have duties and requirements on myself. weekends are so short, my eight year old daughter is super energetic and it is hard for me to keep up with it. so she watches TV a lot, and i feel bad about that.

Also something medical/hygienic that I need to maintain, not serious thank God, but very time consuming.

Laundry, cooking. very toxic and draining mother in law, arranging mess.


Haven't gone to a date with my husband for years maybe this will happen tomorrow.

Thanks very much for a place to share.

[manuel_moe_g]

Hello Duck!

Don't feel bad about using the TV to cope with an energetic 8 year old. We all do it.

Please remember that you have to take care of yourself first, before you can take care of another. I know, easier said than done.

Please take care, we are cheering for you.

[duck1]

Hi,

I'm resentful towards a coworker in my new job. It's a new resentment.

I know myself, sometimes there is a defining moment with someone, where I feel I see their true collors and from that moment on it is hard for me to forgive them, and I feel a constant anger.

It's like I flag them.

So this happened to me today, with the cleaning lady. She had a few comments to me in the past, and some were justified. But this morning she came to me and said, why don't you try to keep your desk (or work area) neater? I was utterly shocked.

I tried to understand from her if I left papers on the floor or some other thing that bothered her. I was realy upset by this, she said, are you comfortable working like this?

I don't remember my precise words but something to the effect of its none of your business.

Later that day she tried to small talk with me and ask me if I have a husband and children. I was short with her.

Now that I read this, I see how ridiculous I seem.

All she is a lady, older than me by probably 15-20 years. Maybe a bit nosey, but not someone to hate. I also think I take myself way to seriously. The thing is that I am intimidated by her because she is there for a long time and this only my third month and I feel like I am judged by everyone.
Thanks for listening.

[manuel_moe_g]

Yeah, I have a problem with resentment, and resentment building up until I explode, to my great shame

I find processing the week’s resentments with other people or a therapist really helps keep resentments from building up to a boiling point

Your answers to this lady seem in line with having good boundaries for yourself

Please take care, Duck, really glad every time you post

[Mental Fairy]

Hi Duck

I liked when you said you read over this and it sounded silly to you after writing and reading it.
Something I do a lot, I think because once you have got it off your chest in a way it releases some of the negative emotions.

I believe she overstepped her mark on the comment as she’s not known you long. Maybe she wasn’t or isn’t a believer in boundaries?

However take it with a grain of salt as they say and let it go into the ether. So glad she can’t see my desk!

[duck1]

Dear Manny and mental fairy,

You guys are the best!

[Mental Fairy]

Duck1

We are here to help in some way shape or form but please don’t feel you have to change because someone points out things.
I was just leaving the clinic before heading home for lunch and I walked away from my desk and let out a little giggle. If that cleaning lady was there and said something I would carry on and walk on past her smiling. If you’re giving 100% at your work and you are doing your best for something you believe in then your desk is your nest.

At least you can be the bigger person and carry on being you. You got your job to do your role. She got her job to do her role. She has no boundaries Cleary.

[duck1]

Had session with our daughters therapist.
This is one of the harder things for me.
We see in the mirror a lot of our problems, she shows us sometimes the problems and our contribution to them.
It's hard for me to think of a solution. At the moment, it look like time is just running and we are only making mistakes, and I just feel a lot of pressure from all over.
I will go now for a jog, sometimes I find the solutions when I ran, and I am away from all this. It is never easy these meetings. There is a lot of pain in this truth. I need creativity, strength and hope to try and make things better. Improve things for our daughter, the atmosphere at home and our relationships.

[manuel_moe_g]

Wishing you the very best, Duck. You deserve it