sustainable rates of work leading to growth and excellence

[manuel_moe_g]

Rate of work - sustainable rates of work leading to growth and excellence

two kinds of rates of work that are sustainable

[1] rate of work that is sustainable and comfortable

[2] rate of work that is sustainable and that has some limited amount of pain, where the pain allows some growth and excellence

so we are really interested in [2]

ok, so what can interfere with [2]

three things

[1] shame, [2] fear, [3] pain

so what do we do about them

[1] shame about how slow I am working - thank you shame, but my executive-function/rational part of my brain is in control of the situation, and I don't need your help, because you lead to breakdown

[2] fear about risking not feeling comfortable- thank you amygdala for trying to keep me safe from pain, but my executive-function/rational part of my brain is in control of the situation, and I don't need your help, because you lead to breakdown

[3] pain, mental or physical- my executive-function/rational part of my brain can reconfigure the situation so that the pain immediately leads to (1) growth, (2) meaning, (3) excellence. Also can reduce pain by mental strategies. Shift away from the pain if leads to breakdown, because we are only interested in sustainable rates of work.

[oak]

Excellent.

You are well on your way, Manuel Moe.

Feel free to post more.

[manuel_moe_g]

I, in the past, habitually felt shame because showering was painful to me

I have psoriasis, and I take a Humira injectable shot in my belly fat twice a month. The needle is very fine, so it is not as painful as some injections, but it is still painful. And I have to steel myself before injecting because of the pain

Showers are to me, because of my depression, as painful to me as that needle in my belly. I don't know why, it just is.

I, in the past, habitually felt shame because, come on, an adult should be able to shower.

Sometimes I have to lay on the floor of the bathroom because I am trying to steel myself to be able to shower. Sometimes I lay on the floor of the shower, with the water pouring upon me, unable to move for a time.

I am done feeling shame about this, because shame does not help me, it only leads to breakdown.

Today I embraced the fact that showers can be painful to me, and I rejected shame over this.

I was able to shower, and I allowed myself to feel proud about being able to shower.

I reject you, shame, because you just lead to breakdown.

I am on a path of life activity consistent with growth and excellence.

I am proud that I could type all these truths out.

[brownblob]

Well done Manuel

[Heatherwantspeace]

Bravo!
Heather

[manuel_moe_g]

Remind myself to forgive myself for falling back on old patterns

[snoringdog]

Hello Manny,

Glad that you're getting a handle on this. In the past I remembered reading a post about how you didn't like to shower, but didn't know the reason...

But psoriasis so bad that you need injections is probably a good reason!

I know a little bit about skin problems, having had dry skin, contact dermatitis, and probably a bit of psoriasis in the past. On a hot day the sweat burns and itches and is a real annoyance, but then trying to wash with water (and soap) and drying brings it's own set of problems. No way to win... both are a problem.

I'm sure you know about this stuff, but here's a link from the American Academy of Dermatologists -

https://www.aad.org/public/diseases/sca ... 0or%20less.

So hell yea! You can cut yourself a break.

Be well

SD

[manuel_moe_g]

Often times don't feel like a real man.

[manuel_moe_g]

going about this systematically, have determined that mindfulness is part of the solution to my general problem

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mindfulness

[right now the mindfulness that I am practicing is non-judgmental observing of the self as if from a 3rd-party perspective]

these are the steps from my problem to mindfulness:

(step 1) I want a rate of work that is sustainable and that has some limited amount of pain, where the pain allows some growth and excellence

(step 2) so part of that pain is boredom

(step 3) part of acceptance of boredom is allowing myself guilt-free recreation

(step 4) part of guilt-free recreation is mindfulness

(whew! a lot of steps)

part of having more mindfulness is that when I "drop the ball" and I am not mindful, I forgive myself for going into a habitual place, a primed negative response

forgive myself because I am under the challenge of a primed negative response

forgive myself like I would forgive my daughter (it is easier to imagine forgiving someone else that forgiving myself)

forgiveness feels like

[1] shut down negative self talk

[2] weight off of my chest

[3] calmness

[manuel_moe_g]

right now the mindfulness that I am practicing is non-judgmental observing of the self as if from a 3rd-party perspective, with the emphasis on choice of action and choice of thought and feeling