Summer of trying to be courageous

[Heatherwantspeace]

I will accept that honorary position! And hey, my recovery journal is W of Oz themed.
I really earned it this week. Get this! I threw a get together for acquaintances. I have never been so scared in my life. All day I felt like I was going in for major surgery. It was a short drop-in event and very enthusiastically attended. It took 2 days to recover with lots of rest. I'm going to keep chipping away at this and build the life I want.

I'm glad you were able to feel what you needed to feel then get back up. And yay for you! for saying what you needed to say to your supervisor in a way you can be proud of. Processing anger before speaking is a phenomenal skill and one that I aspire to. Keep searching for the something better that's out there for you.

I want to acknowledge everyone who is on their journey, whether this was a good week or a struggle. It's going to be up and down and that's okay. Hugs or a wave or whatever you helps.
Heather

[oak]

Hi friends.

Long story short, I feel anxiety (8 or 9) about going back to a karate class.

Even though they were completely lovely and kind my first time there. And despite the fact that there are many excellent (okay, really life changing) reasons to give martial arts a good try.

Okay: here's the truth: I've noticed a very attractive person with dishwater blond hair.

I'll post here in a few hours with how far I get through my anxiety hierarchy.

[oak]

I went, and it went, of course, completely lovely. They were so kind and generous to me.

Everything I was afraid of going wrong did, and I was okay! I put the gi pants on backwards, I forgot the Japanese word for "upper block", I fell when doing a "zen", and couldn't coordinate my left/right punches. I also took full licks from the black belts (at my request), and successfully effected a counter to when someone is grabbing you by the shirt. I had a wonderful time.

Lessons/Takeaways as I retire this thread

1. With the karate example yesterday: Oftentimes there is one moment where the whole situation turns on.

All sorts of good and wonderful things happen when I effected the moment, and were lost when I didn't.

I had my cleaned gi, cash for the monthly membership fee, and was sitting in my car in their parking lot. I decided that if I walked away right then, my dignity would be intact, but that I would shirk the big moment. All courage required of me was to walk to their front door, open it, enter, smile, and tell the black belts I was interested.

So long as I prepare (have my stuff together, and show up on time), if I handled that crucial moment of courage, I was okay.

2. Overall, while I'm glad I tried to be courageous this summer, it was sort of a meh experience.

Except for...

3. Anything I had an awkward conversation, one that needed to happen, and I talked to people, eye to eye, it was great and wonderful.

There is really something to be said for looking people in the eye and saying uncomfortable truthers kindly and plainly.

Thanks for listening!

[brownblob]

Glad it went well Oak. Hopefully your acts of deliberate courage will make you more comfortable in being courageous in the future.