Big Programming Project, "Unsolvable" Relationship Issues

[manuel_moe_g]

Mind-Meister mindmap link: https://mm.tt/1710852906?t=Gjxkp5jY7d



Mind-Meister mindmap link: https://mm.tt/1710852906?t=Gjxkp5jY7d

[oak]

Thank you for sharing!

[manuel_moe_g]

my covid mask doesn't usually bother me, but when i am programming at the keyboard, every little thing bothers and distracts me

my intention for today is to return often as possible during the day to being effective&mindful inside the gap between stimulus and response

steady as she goes

[manuel_moe_g]

kind of tired

will keep at it

i am not doing proper covid care with my hands and fingertips, so tempting to touch my face, sigh

[manuel_moe_g]

eyes have hard time focusing

remind myself to be proud of myself, not beat myself up

[oak]

Regarding your recent lax covid precautions, it is too soon to give up.

Nothing is lost: wash your hands, forgive yourself before you go to bed, and start fresh tomorrow.

You’ve got this.

[manuel_moe_g]

Thanks Oak, you having my back nourishes my spirit.

I think my priority over everything else will be a state of mind where I regularly return to mindfulness. It affects how I carry my body and how I sit in a chair, is that the experience of other people? that to keep a certain state of mind you wind up carrying your body differently? When I walk, it is more upright and with my face forward, instead of slowly slouching and my face pointing down. Sitting in my chair, it is back straight and calm expression on face, instead of slouching in chair and pained expression on my face.

I can't really do anything about my bouncing knee, except not to hate myself for fidgeting.

Drinking water. Good.

Hey, when i fall down, i just have to get up. It is a one-to-one proposition, just concentrate on getting up each time, don't worry about constantly falling down

[Beany Boo]

Focusing on how you hold your body is an excellent priority. It’s possibly number one for me, at least the majority of the time. What you do with your face in particular. It affects everything.

Work is so confusing to me. Whatever it’s purpose is, it wins, I forfeit comprehension. I am zeroing in on just making sure my body feels comfortable at work. I’m less concerned with doing good work than with building situations that are likely to become valuable memories. If there’s good work in the midst of that, then it’s purely coincidental.

[rivergirl]

Manny Moe,

I'm proud of you and I'm glad you're seeing at least intermittently that you can be proud of yourself instead of beating yourself up.

I feel like a mindfulness novice, but I relate to what you and Beany wrote about how mindfulness can change your physical presence. The online meditation course I've been taking the past couple of months has begun to change some of my physical habits, including holding my breath, hunching over my cell phone or computer for long periods of time, being on autopilot and not even remembering what I've just been doing, etc. It's a long process but I do see hope for continued change.

I hope you don't mind if I adopt this as my mantra this week because I really need to keep it in mind:
It is a one-to-one proposition, just concentrate on getting up each time, don't worry about constantly falling down.

Thanks for sharing your struggles and progress.

rg

[manuel_moe_g]

Thanks BeanyBoo, Thanks Rivergirl!

I am working on a rational, realistic, sustainable view of failure. For me it means that I will have a lifetime of failures, and my only task is to get up after each failure.

When it comes to work and responsibility, my plate is way past overflowing. So that means a failure is guaranteed. This used to freak me out so much I would break down and just want to sleep, eat, and play with my smartphone, etc. But this is unhelpful, unproductive, un-sustainable.

Now I embrace failure, and just do my best, realizing that I only have a few times each day where I am aware and mindful of being in a gap between stimulus and response.

Not going to beat myself up for not being good enough.