Mindfulness

[Beany Boo]

I had the experience this week of the jogging, meditation, mindfulness exercises and Pilates all sort of dovetailing and blending. I guess my neocortex was getting used to taking charge and I had moments of lucid focus.

I’ve started learning tai chi online to the same end. But the goal is to accumulate sufficient activities that draw attention out of my limbic system and across to the neocortex over and over, until that movement, as a habit, becomes permanent.

The focus moments seem to take the form of stillness with the absence of any compulsion to ‘do’ or control and just a feeling of inevitable choice-iness and readiness.

I definitely feel like my brain is finding a new way to respond.

[Beany Boo]

The meditation practice is working in a new unexpected way. Previously hardwired poor impulse control (as in scattered thinking) has been intervened on. Periods of meditation interrupt the impulse to respond to prompts instantly (unhealthy multitasking). I accept the considerable risk of forgetting, and continue with the meditation.

This carries over into the everyday where I experience prompts which demand (trigger) an auto-response. The hardwiriness of my unfiltered impulse is no longer there though. I observe the prompt as optional and continue on my previously existing focus. The effect of continuing is reward-y.

Another surprising eventuality from the meditation. I hold the meditative focus at a constant 5 out of 10 intensity. 0 is relaxed. 10 is all or nothing. Somehow that 5 midpoint allows thoughts, feelings and sensations to flow and roll through without getting stuck or going to perseveration.

The world is difficult to trust but my response capacity is becoming more skillful.

[manuel_moe_g]

The world is difficult to trust but my response capacity is becoming more skillful.

Fantastic stuff, Beany! thanks for keeping us updated on your progress

[Mental Fairy]

Beany Boo, thank you for your information. Struggle with slowing the mind down. Once upon a time yoga session of about 40min I could manage but feel like brain in some stuck gear and unable to focus.
May I ask how you focus and progress past that point of what I call the ‘wiggle niggle’. Where a person can’t continue without adjusting something on themselves or going completely off task? Do you use a mantra?

[Beany Boo]

Practice non-striving (not all the time; just while in session). Given you lose focus every 10 seconds anyway, stop ‘efforting’ to keep it. Let it go; see if it returns without you in control.

[Beany Boo]

I did my first hour of unguided meditation last night. It wasn’t really a struggle at this point and I felt pretty good about it as a milestone in my practice.

I wasn’t expecting anything from it but this morning I had strong experience in my body of my willpower sort of sprouting in a new way.

It’s lingering now as a feeling of autonomy and self-trust.

That said, life continues around me; as a s#%?storm un-impeded

[Beany Boo]

I’ve started a new thing.

Whenever I have an uncomfortable feeling, I say, “I feel [feeling] while in [current location].”

I feel sad while standing in this elevator

It allows me to ‘time stamp’ my experience without struggling with the deep why or with the what to do.

It works out in the field and there’s a smattering of satisfaction that is otherwise not available.

[Mental Fairy]

All very interesting information. I’ve found meditating right after my run and yoga is so much easier than not having the routine beforehand.
Slowly learning to allow myself to feel more deeply. Been interesting to see how the emotions change. Mindset at different times of day are somewhat confusing at times.

[Beany Boo]

In those moments I feel 3 things;

Stuck
Like I’m burden
Confused

Putting my discomfort in the context of the present (with the timestamp technique) allows me to feel those things at say 5/10 intensity. I actually don’t mind them so much at that level.

[Beany Boo]

I had a few mini-breakthroughs today.

1. Instead of saying ‘I feel sad’ which sounds wrong to me, I find it easier to say ‘I have sadness’ or, ‘there is fear’
2. When I ‘have anger’ the correct response is to respect it, without jumping to reactions. I show trust to myself by respecting the presence of it.