i really don’t know if this is normal?!?!

[angelhearmycry]

okay so I don’t even know where to begin with this
but I hope me being open will maybe help someone.

I am a CSA survivor and my dad was my abuser,
so nighttime is a super hard time for me. Recently
I spent the night with a friend and in my sleep I was
masturbating at exactly 3 in the morning.
Luckily she was aware of the trauma but I feel so much
shame that I put her through that. When I do masturbate
it seems to be at exactly around the same time give or take
an hour. Also I had been doing this but I thought it stopped and I thought it was normal. Now I’m questioning if it happens every night???
Like why did no one tell me!!? And like I feel like such
a freak for doing that and I don’t understand why I am.
And I’m dating someone and I have no idea how to bring this up so please someone help

Thank you for any advice

[manuel_moe_g]

You are not a freak and you have nothing to be ashamed of. Your mind and body are just traversing an impossible situation. The important thing is that you are a survivor.

Please know that you are seen and accepted. And you can accept yourself.

All the best. Keep the lines of communication open. Please take care.

[snoringdog]

Hello Angelhearmycry,

Like Manny said.

And

And I’m dating someone, and I have no idea how to bring this up so please someone help

You're under no real obligation to discuss this with a date, are you?
Maybe with a long-term partner, but....