Oak's body/trauma journey (ongoing).

[Beany Boo]

I am so pleased to read you had a good experience with trauma-informed yoga.

Even taking on good habits has some pain, especially when there is trauma in the mix. Positive change still involves grieving a loss of the familiar.

[rivergirl]

Congratulations on finding the courage to try yoga again. I'm so glad it felt beneficial to you.

I find in making any positive change there is also grief in thinking back to all the years when I wasn't able to make that change.

Glad to see the other posts here too. Thank you for sharing the beautiful photo, MF. When you mentioned sobbing by yourself before others were awake I really felt that in my heart. Sending warm thoughts to you.

rg

[rivergirl]

I meant to ask you, Oak, did you find the trauma-informed yoga to be very different from other yoga classes you've taken?

[oak]

@BeanyBoo: Thank you for the encouragement!

@RiverGirl: Hello and thank you for your encouragement, also.

Yes, it was different: in the beginning we shared, as much as we were comfortable, about what traumas brought us there.

The radical acceptance extended to the yoga itself: they made it very clear that any yoga, including simply laying or sitting, was welcome, at any time.

So much of trauma is about being made Other; it was refreshing to be accepted as I am.

[rivergirl]

Wow, that sounds like a welcoming and safe environment. I'm glad it didn't have the competitive type of vibe that some yoga classes have.

"So much of trauma is about being made Other; it was refreshing to be accepted as I am."

I've never thought of trauma that way, but it rings so true to me.

[oak]

Wow, that sounds like a welcoming and safe environment. I'm glad it didn't have the competitive type of vibe that some yoga classes have.

"So much of trauma is about being made Other; it was refreshing to be accepted as I am."

I've never thought of trauma that way, but it rings so true to me.

I'm glad that helped, RiverGirl.

Friends, a brief update:

Meeting with my mental health counselor today, we agreed that yoga would be a 2022 tertiary goal.

After professional positioning (increasingly important) and strength training as my most pressing concerns, we came up with yoga as an important third goal. We decided on two broad, preliminary/inchoate goals:

1. Planning on attending classes (eg, "Tuesday at 6:30 is the main class, while attending Monday at 7 pm is a good secondary goal.")

2. Researching overnight yoga retreats in 2023, hopefully after my income increases in 2023 (please, heaven).

I still have lots of anxiety and grief currently manifesting itself in my body, but I'm hanging in there. More updates soon.

Once again, yoga chooses me.

[Beany Boo]

Great news about the yoga Oak.

[oak]

Great news about the yoga Oak.

Thanks, BeanyBoo! It is great to hear from you. I hope you're doing well.

A Briefest of Recaps

Friends, the briefest of recaps: anxiety, grief, and stress daily manifest as pain and agony in my body, frequently in what many describe as "chakras". My true passion (primary interest) of martial arts isn't feasible in 2022, so I'm gravitating to light strength training (which is a secondary sort of interest), and a tertiary interest, yoga.

Not bad, just tertiary.

Update

Having received a small, unexpected year-end bonus, I am (1) registering for a month of unlimited yoga at the nearby studio and (2) buying a proper mat.

My current "mat" is more of an inch-thick pad, which is great for outdoors yoga (fun!), but is not especially grippy for indoors.

Wish me luck! I'm scared I have body shame.

I need to post more in this thread

[Mental Fairy]

Oh oak, enjoy your new mat.
Quick tip! Add a few drops of essential oil onto the mat so when you practice you get a whiff of a nice smell and calming also. I sometimes make up an essential oil spray and clean it down so it’s smelling great.