Library tea

[rivergirl]

I’m trying something new in about 20 minutes, a “bibliotherapy tea”. I guess I’m sort of bookending this event, no pun intended. I think it’s good to try to make social connections, but I’m feeling deeply apprehensive right now. It isn’t so much that it’s a new social event. I think it’s that this library holds memories going back to my early teens. It’s surrounded by a very large urban park, and there are many family memories from the park. It feels like there are ghosts here, or that I’m a ghost. I’ll post after the event.

[oak]

Wonderful!

Well done for giving it a try. Please enjoy the tea.

Also, I'm glad bookending gives you some structure for this experience.

[Beany Boo]

I feel you RG.

I have a library that looms out of early childhood.

I also joined a book club a few years ago.

I traveled across the country to revisit the library after a 40 year absence and regular flashbacks to a particular window.

The book club was a double edged sword. Liberating to connect with people with like interests. Exhausting and all too brief both at the same time to connect with them.

I’m still going though after 2 years. I’m practicing to strike the right balance.

[rivergirl]

Thank you Oak & Mr. B. Boo.

It was a lovely low-key event. We did artwork, writing prompts, meditation, etc. It was an event for adults but the librarian also read a children's story to us and it nearly made me cry. I think it's an occasional program, not ongoing, but I would go again if it's offered.

I think I understand what you mean about the book group, Beany. I feel that way about so many social interactions.

If it isn't too personal, did you figure out what flashbacks to the window were about?

rg

[Beany Boo]

I think looking out the window was perhaps a moment of true peace in an otherwise frightening, neglectfilled, chaotic childhood. As an adult I would regularly find myself looking through that window in my memory with longing.

When I saw it again in person in middle-age, it was quietly shocking. I haven’t flashbacked since but I have a photo of it and other childhood places, I think just to remind myself that they and me in them were real.

[rivergirl]

The image of a young Beany staring out that window makes me sad, although I'm glad you were able to find those moments of peace.

The small library in my neighborhood was a childhood refuge for me. Maybe that's why I became a librarian.

It's funny but even though I've never met you, you feel more real to me than some of the people I see every day.

[Beany Boo]

Yes agreed, it’s a floating world these days. Thank you for your too kind words.

Library window

B78FA82D-F5B7-48E5-A9E9-C7F77D306BE5.jpeg (166.06 KiB) Viewed 1172 times

[Mental Fairy]

Wow, rivergirl amazing courage and strength you have showed. Book group was my favourite thing to do every first Wednesday of the month. The Tuesday before I felt like I was lining up to bungy jump or sky dive.

Cancelled membership about six months ago due to the anxiety around it. Recently got an email to return and I’m not sure I can. I should of replied by now as they are holding a space for me.

Relate deeply to yourself and Beany with the past memories being engrained in the building and location. Books are a massive part of my life and built a library at home for this very reason. Memories of story telling at bedtime by my grandad. Turns out the three little pigs were members of the mafia or some underground straw and apple crime syndicate!

Rivergirl I am actually excited about your post as this is a step forward. It take courage and a great deal of it. I wish i could go back to mine but I feel judged when I relate to a book or a character. The group of people are lovely but I honestly fall to bits when i have to give my book review.

Sending you massive mental hugs

[rivergirl]

Thank you for sharing the photo, Beany. The view is beautiful and a little melancholy at the same time. I'm not sure if that's the right word.

Thank you for your lovely post, MF. I want to reply more when I have a bit more time.