Saturday bookend: Neurotic anxiety, 30 minutes to face 2023 goals, then food is love.

[oak]

Bookend 1 of 2:

a. I have neurotic anxiety right now.

Neurosis is always a substitute for legitimate suffering. -Carl Jung

On July 4 I re-assessed my 2023 goals, and came up with an ambitious plan for early 2024.

(Note: though text on a screen can hardly express it, the above sentence is extremely difficult to admit to myself. Many people my age will never admit that they are wrong, that their plans didn't work out, and that they're responsible. I freely admit all of these facts, and by admitting them I can move past them. Still, this is harrowing.)

b. I want to spend the next 30 minutes, terrifying as it is, to come up with a broad, preliminary plan for my 2024 ambition.

I will use one of the free Udemy courses on goal setting.

c. When my toaster oven dings in 30 minutes, I will stop any goal setting, and enjoy tacos. For me, food is love.

Update soon!

[troebia]

Many people my age will never admit that they are wrong, that their plans didn't work out, and that they're responsible. I freely admit all of these facts, and by admitting them I can move past them. Still, this is harrowing.)

Touché.
That's damn hard to do. I often find it hard to get through the day without a self-imposed inquisition tribunal. "Why did you...?" "Why didn't you...?"
And what about the present? People who can fully justify internally what they're doing at every moment, are they blessed or ignorant? Or is it always possible to defuse the importance of one's choices? (That is, if you're not operating heavy machinery )

[snoringdog]

Visiting my cousin the other week in Ohio, we were in an old local ice-cream pretzel tchotchke establishment ("Dietsch's"), where I saw this, and laughed out loud!

Tacos.jpg (28.88 KiB) Viewed 1031 times

The "Fiesta 24/7" was the coup de grâce.

(For those who weren't fundamentalists ever, it echos Joshua 24:15)

[Mental Fairy]

Oh that is priceless.

[oak]

Friends!

Bookend 2 of 2

My first attempt was a real mishegas. I had an anxiety meltdown, as I am wont to do on Saturdays, and took care of my HALT.

A few hours later I was able to accomplish the goals listed above, so all's well that ends well.

That's damn hard to do. I often find it hard to get through the day without a self-imposed inquisition tribunal. "Why did you...?" "Why didn't you...?"
And what about the present? People who can fully justify internally what they're doing at every moment, are they blessed or ignorant? Or is it always possible to defuse the importance of one's choices? (That is, if you're not operating heavy machinery )

Well said, Troebia.

[A quick definition: If I can make a false dichotomy for a moment, between "everything's going to be fine" types listed above, and "worrywarts" such as myself. Of course, neither is a fair assessment, but I'm sure you see what I'm getting at with these gross simplizations for the purposes of this post.]

From what I've seen, and some of these people I really admire, this method of life (genuinely) works great... until it doesn't.

Examples: A novel virus shuts society down. A workplace has a change in C-level leadership, and people lose their jobs.

I've seen both happen in the last three years. I could not have predicted that such a thing as Covid would exist, of course, but once they shut cities down in China and Italy, I surmised/guessed they'd do it here, too. Being a worrywart (or prudent person taking threats seriously), I was able to weather the lockdown better than had I been one of the type of the people listed above. Some of my non-worrywart friends suffered more than they needed to, by refusing to acknowledge the reality that was right in front of them.

Same with the job loss: I saw it clearly a year ago, while some of my colleagues didn't realize it was possible until it had already happened.

All that said another way: I sincerely wish I had a bit more of these people's directness and brio. But I've seen too much of life, and the real consequences that can come suddenly, to not be prudent.

Maybe that's the virtue: balancing courage with prudence.

[manuel_moe_g]

Might fix formatting on Oak’s comment above, don’t mind me

Edit: Done!

[oak]

Might fix formatting on Oak’s comment above, don’t mind me

Edit: Done!

Thank you, Manuel Moe!

[oak]

Hi friends.

I had another Saturday meltdown today, and, not really sure if it needed its own thread, I found this thread. Which I had totally memory wiped in the three weeks since.

At any rate:

1. Today my anxiety was spiraling, so while tempted to just sit and scroll Reddit, I realized that was how I ended up like this in the first place.

Though I didn't want to, I set my phone for fifteen minutes each of decluttering apartment, modest practicing of guitar, and as always eating and turning on my AC.

It worked: meltdown mitigated.

2. After years of always being the worst person at the fitness class, I've found I have real skill at pickleball.

Specifically, and without being able to explain how I can do it, I have considerable skill at gracefully, powerfully, and effortlessly sending the ball just over the net.

I never minded being the worst person in all of the fitness classes I've been in: I'm profoundly grateful to be there.

It is just odd/funny that success showed up when I didn't expect it.

Also, I can play a really pretty chord on guitar (A and C, simultaneously). If I want to play for someone on the town square one of these evenings at sunset, these are a chord I need.

Edit to add:

Ready or not, next Saturday I’ll record, and post here, my rendition of the first line of my Adagio tutorial.

[troebia]

, so while tempted to just sit and scroll Reddit,

Another (unrepentant) addict here!

[oak]

Another (unrepentant) addict here!

Please note, Troebia, (in a kind and friendly way!) that I am very confident in offering, a week ago, pronouncements about your choices with Xanax and alcohol, while I remain curiously silent about my inability (unwillingness) to give up Reddit (averaging four a day for last five years[!]) and caffeine.