Troebia's Diary

[troebia]

Forgetting where I parked it and walking the street trying to remember how I got to work.

Exactly. I've gone down to 2.5mg for a couple of days now, and right now I can't tell if the things I'm noticing are due to withdrawal or accumulation. Drove home tonight from the city (Valencia) and had another brief episode of "wtf-where-am-I-going". Had a double whiskey when I finally got home, best medicine I know. Maybe there is a sweet spot with the vortioxetine, because I do notice some improvement since I started taking it. For example, three months ago I'd always be on Xanax when driving downtown and now it's just "meh".

[snoringdog]

Hello Troebia,

It seems as though you've had a pretty wild ride with the vortioxetine. Seems like strong stuff.
Curious about a few things...may I ask? -

Have you spoken with your doctor about the effects, and about his experience in prescribing?

Is this just the latest drug-du-jour? What other options are there?

What have you learned from the experience so far?

Hope you're managing your way thru all this....

[troebia]

Hello SD,

The psychiatrist who prescribed the drug to me isn't included in my insurance anymore. My first and only visit was very short and he just told me to take it for two months and then come back, without mentioning any side effects

My GP said he didn't have any personal experience with vortioxetine, but he knew that colleagues at mental institutions use it because it's so long lasting and can be administered in drops if the patient won't swallow pills. He did read the leaflet in front of me and said the drug adds "speed" on top of the SSRI, and that the dosage may have to be adjusted. At that moment 6 weeks in I hadn't noticed anything. He said that if I noticed agitation to take only half a pill, but to try to get to 12 weeks before switching to something else — which seems to be the general recommendation with vortioxetine. I was thinking then, "what agitation? what speed?"

Right now I'm down to 2,5mg daily, cutting each pill into four pieces. The nightmares have mostly gone away and I don't feel the need to take alprazolam daily. The slight nausea persists, and there's a sort of coldness in the forehead. The memory lapses concern me the most, but they're becoming shorter (5 to 10 seconds) and aren't total blackouts like the first time.

There is a similar drug called Viibryd (vilazodone) but at the moment I'm feeling wary of having to go through another long period of adaptation, and also there'll be other side effects.

Everyone who takes vortioxetine won't have the same kind of experience because if they did it wouldn't be on the market. If I've learned something so far, it's that it would be better to learn to live without medication or sedation.

[Mental Fairy]

Gosh I so agree with your every word

[Mental Fairy]

Troebia, I thought so much of you today. My boss brought me a painting that we are having framed. He collects them.

Love the colours

[Mental Fairy]

Paperwork that goes with it

[troebia]

Hi MF,

I like the painting because I'm in a fauvist colourful mood lately, with André Derain as a favourite: https://www.pinterest.com/search/pins/q=andre%20derain%20paintings&eq=andr%C3%A9%20derain&etslf=11422

Though what's coming out on my paper lately are still mainly bad monsters to relieve my mind. These ones could be suited for colouring and maybe also for adding some pain & torture details, or just rocks hailing down on them. Gaarrrrghhhh!!

img410.jpg (166.75 KiB) Viewed 312600 times

[Mental Fairy]

Oh I admire your talent. When you post these I personally feel your true self comes through with even more depth.

Very much appreciate your work not just with your art but the work you are putting in for yourself to try find comfort and peace. We are all in our individual boats going up similar, if not the same rivers at times.

[troebia]

We are all in our individual boats going up similar, if not the same rivers at times.

It’s probably due to sharing 99% of our DNA. (Then again, we share 98% with the chimpanzees.) Also, we seem to be very white and middle class here. We have the resources and the time to go to therapy and yoga.

What would a Chinese factory worker or an Indian farmer think of us, while they are slaving away? "They" outnumber us about 10 to 1. No time for existential doubts in their life: you swim for your life or you sink like a stone.

[snoringdog]

What would a Chinese factory worker or an Indian farmer think of us, while they are slaving away?

I don't think they'd be judgmental, instead, they'd want to trade places with us.
But they'd also probably be surprised at the existential baggage that sometimes comes with having leisure time..

"They" outnumber us about 10 to 1. No time for existential doubts in their life: you swim for your life or you sink like a stone.

In the animal world, you look to eat, and to avoid being eaten.
There does seem to be time for a bit of play now and then though..