Troebia's Diary

[troebia]

Medication update
I've gone up to 10mg vortioxetine to get more effect. It's been a week and I'm feeling calmer, and also discovered that the nausea is minimal if I take the pill right after the evening meal instead of after breakfast. It feels like I have the hand on the throttle now because whenever I notice a brain fart or a memory lapse I simply keep calm and quiet a few seconds until it passes. The other day I had to stop the car at the side of the road to breathe a bit, like "oh well". If it had happened a month ago I'd have freaked out, now it's the new normal.

Home situation update
Feeling slightly more motivated and capable of doing fixes & chores, mainly because I can now maintain a straight thought for much longer. The workshop is unheated and chilly, so I've been painting in the living room and mother-in-law is always on the couch there. I'm avoiding her as much as humanly possible, though we always eat lunch together which is a downer and a test of my patience. When my daughter visited, mother-in-law was visibly perplexed that there was conversation at the table that did not involve her, neither could she narcissistically make it be about her because she didn't understand what we were talking about.

Creativity update
I'm looking at ways to integrate text into my drawings. Short poems or just words to reinforce the work... though I have come to dislike the tidy, affected lettering or script some sketchers will use. Btw the gel plate still sits waiting on the workbench.

[manuel_moe_g]

a nugget:

Therapy was nice, but now from a distance it seems like I was made to pretend to be someone else.

i know what you mean, and i wish you hadn't typed it and i hadn't read it! lol!

hits too close to home. i know this "manny moe" fellow well, he has a habitual way of being, he is trying out new ways of being, who the hell does he think he is! lol!

[manuel_moe_g]

I'm looking at ways to integrate text into my drawings.

I am so excited about this!

[troebia]

i know this "manny moe" fellow well, he has a habitual way of being, he is trying out new ways of being, who the hell does he think he is! lol!

There's the thing, I relate. We're both inexorably approaching the same stage of life, that can be called "over the hill". Slightly depressing thought: if there is a radical change in our lives by now, it will most probably be due to illness. Let's face it, we're not going to become polar explorers or whiz entrepreneurs because that kind of young energy has left our bodies. We're not going to throw everything overboard, divorce and live in another country. Dang. Sometimes I've even thought that if they pulled the rug out from under me, maybe it would feel like a favor to have to start from scratch. Dangerous prospect!

We do, however, have a certain life experience and gravitas. At our age, we've developed our preferences and tastes. With that wizened look in our eyes and our slow gait, nobody is going to even try to bullshit us about anything anymore. We're not competing about anything. When I walk down the street, I'm that older grumpy guy that you barely notice but somehow still appreciate for being there as a sort of extra. You know straight away that I won't run away anywhere with your child or your dog.

Here's a doodle experiment with text, not very happy about it but still

IMG_20240116_212155.jpg (104.18 KiB) Viewed 43456 times

[Mental Fairy]

Hi Lovely Troebia

Thank you for your posts.

I opened the forum on my phone and tapped your post, I saw your art you just posted and immediately I saw New Zealand. I look at the image and see my home country. I got a wave of emotion wash over me.

The power of art and perspective

[oak]

Troebia, hi.

Thank you for your posts.

I am glad your medication is going well. Keep us posted.

[troebia]

The power of art and perspective

Hi MF, I'm glad you got good feelings from it. Big hug

Btw I'm seeing that posts here quickly get hundreds of views but we're very few who write? What's up with that? I'd like to encourage people to join the conversation!

[Mental Fairy]

Hi!

I had a funny feeling you were online!

You may not like the image but it makes me feel like home. Can I ask what was it that you were thinking about when you made it? It’s intriguing to me as what you see and what I see is so vastly different. Where did the inspiration come from?

[troebia]

Where did the inspiration come from?

I cut some texts from a magazine and put glue on the pieces. First I tried to stick them flat on the paper, but they stuck together by accident and crumpled, and I liked the effect. Then I saw it looked almost like a hand and I cut out an "A" to stick inside it and added some strokes of watercolor. Lastly I doodled a frame around it. I want to do more collage because it adds unexpected effects.

[Mental Fairy]

You got an A+ from me!