I love the holidays, but I know not everyone does

[manuel_moe_g]

i hate my Asperger's and social anxiety, on top of my depression. It make social connections so difficult, and that is what i crave. i just walk through life and social connections just don't stick or for other reasons i have to let them die. there are times i feel so lonely, i am acutely aware of what i am missing, which is torturous

[RightInTwo]

I don’t feel comfortable offering too much more.

There’s your boyfriend and now your cousin failing to meet a need you understood to be clear. And what you term your social anxiety being so powerful that you cannot check in with them about it; indeed so powerful that you’d accept a doomed fate rather than tangle with it. And then there’s the horrible incident you described which would leave anyone with a lasting trauma response although it sounds like only the tip of the iceberg. And your snap responses of spiky anger when your boyfriend presumes to talk about you, to you, when you’re working out.

There’s a lot there. It’s a lot. I’m not surprised you’re struggling with it. I’m glad you can talk about it though.

Thanks beany. I understand, and I want you to know that I feel honored and seen by you. It’s remarkable, imo, that clearly, you really have read all of my crazy stories, and you remember my big issues. I’m really glad that people like you exist, and I deeply appreciate your efforts to be supportive. To a total stranger.

Fwiw, somehow, things are really working well for me & my boyfriend. I think we might be learning how to communicate better, and I am finally beginning to feel safe and loved.

[RightInTwo]

i hate my Asperger's and social anxiety, on top of my depression. It make social connections so difficult, and that is what i crave. i just walk through life and social connections just don't stick or for other reasons i have to let them die. there are times i feel so lonely, i am acutely aware of what i am missing, which is torturous

Oh wow. I can’t believe how true this rings.

I have often thought I might have aspbergers, but it also could just be regular old trauma causing similar symptoms.

“just don’t stick” yeah that really sums it up. And my apathy overpowers all other motivation to try harder, at the end of the day.

I have these super realistic dreams sometimes, you know the kind where you really don’t know you are dreaming? I’ll be at some social occasion, surrounded by people who are excited to see me, hugs & everything…. then, I wake up.



Hang in there, manuel. I appreciate you.

[manuel_moe_g]

I have rad people in my life. You are you of them, RightInTwo!